Archive for
November, 2004
November 30th, 2004
Yay!
I have been having the most wonderfully fantastic day today. No reason at all. I just love life today and this all makes me believe that I am becoming my parents, bipolar disorder and all. A customer gave me a verbal award for being the nicest music seller anywhere in town, John (our receiving manager) got me a small gift just to be nice, and Meghan worked with me. She was also in an obnoxiously good mood today. I was just so grand to be alive, even though I was hacking and sneezing all day!!! I am super excited about getting some stuff done tomorrow and then I can relax. I might even turn my heat on! I was waiting until December and it will be December tomorrow.
Being sick doesn’t suck so much today… I will soon be going to Lori’s for some Amazing Race fun. Calm, quiet fun…
Meghan:
Meghan is one of the most wonderful people I know. She is just too much. Avert your eyes anyone who knows me or anyone who knows Meghan… It is just a shame she isn’t a gay boi (*wink wink*) or that she is an employee…(because I am not technically supposed to hang out with her)… I really think she is fantastic!
November 29th, 2004
Blah!
I have been a little under the weather lately. Sniffles n’ such, ya know. It kinda sucks, but what can you do. I have had a lot of sleep, which is nice. And medicine head is more fun than it should be.
It beginning to look a lot like…
Justin and I just did some Christmas shopping today. I went ahead and got a small tree. It was 40% off at Hobby Lobby! I also got some stuff to make a wreath and some wind-up lederhosen for my dad. They are cute. Justin got stockings and stocking holders, all of which were 50% off. It is a nice group, but they need two more stockings for the dogs, which he is going to have Patrick get. Some cleaning tonight and tomorrow and then Wednesday I will decorate!!!
Being sick sucks.
November 25th, 2004
Thankful:
Fist I would like to say that I am thankful for so many things. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Mine was excellent. I sometimes don’t allow myself to enjoy my family, but I really do. It is nice to feel that relaxed around people. I am thankful for my cousins, who are becoming such wonderful people. I am thankful for my brothers and their families. I am thankful for my uncle, even when he really annoying. I am thankful for my grandpa (Papa) who was too quiet this year. I wish him speedy recovery on his back. I am especially thankful for having the greatest parents ever. They are both as much friends as parents. I enjoy them so much. Their house can be too hectic for me though, with the children always under foot.
The day was so great. We watched Will & Grace, visited, and played with the kids all day at my parents’ house. Gradually, everyone made their way down to my grandpa’s house. We started with 15 and by the time I left for my grandpa’s, only my dad was left. We had the best and most moist turkey I have ever had!!! It just fell apart as the knife touched it, so no need to slice it at all. I sat at the kids’ table, where I have sat my entire life. Really, we all are. That table is, and has always been Opie, Annie, myself, and some combination of others including Becky, Brad, Brent, etc. The actual kids are still too young to sit off by themselves. It was just an excellent day.
So, Where Has Brian Been???
Nowhere. I have just not been on the computer that much. I guess life is just boring lately. Not that I have been bored. I do have opinions on that. I want a boyfriend. I want to feel loved. I am scared of looking… scared to death of trying… of putting myself out there. I miss my gay friends. This is really where gay friends come in handy. I am lonely and I don’t like it at all. Blah. I am basically content with my life otherwise. I do need to get on here and just blog already!!! I sometimes forget that my friends check this to see what is going on… Travis.
Work:
Speaking of work, Shauna is working at my store as of earlier this week!!! It is so nice to see her face at work. I so miss living with her and James. I wish things never changed and you could just stay close to everyone.
This is the weekend of weekends at work. I am looking forward to the craziness. I am a little worried that our manager will be exhausting and frantic, but overall it should be fun.
November 17th, 2004
Life Has Been Boring!!!
I haven’t really done much lately, with the exception of sleeping! Justin has been coming over more often, which has been nice. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to spend any time alone. It hasn’t been that bad though. But I have had a lot going on. Nothing exciting, but a lot. I would love to hear from Travis, but I haven’t in quite some time.
How Does My Garden Grow?
It doesn’t. At all. I miss that about having a house. Mowing is the part I don’t miss, but I can only get them together. Oh well. I would love to grow some veggies. I don’t really care about flower gardening, but growing food would be pretty cool.
Christmas:
Even though I don’t care much for Christmas this year, I have decided to go ahead and decorate. I don’t know what, but something fun and exciting! I want it to be uber-kitschy, but I am not sure what I want. Any ideas would be appreciated.
November 14th, 2004
Christian Indeed!
I have mentioned it many times, but I just want to say it again. What is wrong with people??? I live in “the buckle of the Bible Belt” and see a huge amount of hypocracy daily. Since everyone here in Tulsa claims to be a Christian, I am often ashamed to say that I am and have resorted to not saying it at all. It pains me to claim similar beliefs with people who seem so judgemental and hateful. I know that I am doing the same thing, judging them, but I still have a hard time with those who cannot walk the walk. Christian seems to be a term used by many as a substitute for conservative and/or close-minded. But I think those people need to look at the word and realize that it simply means someone who follows the teachings of Christ. The teachings of Christ do not include judgement or exclusion of others. They do not include hate for anyone. They are about one’s personal commitment of that person’s actions. Nobody should have anything to say about the way I live my life except for me and God. This means that you random so-called Christian do not get to decide that being gay is wrong or right. Unless of course you are 100% without sin. It is at that time that I will start accepting your advice on living my life and my walk in my faith.
Religion, Faith, Or Spirituality…?
I am not religious at all. I think to be so is silly (no offense to those who are). Being locked into dogma and ritual does not suit my finicky life and is therefore not welcome into it. Although I share the beliefs of other Christians, I do not claim to be one for reasons stated above as well as the following: stating ones religion automatically brings with it certain stereotypes. I don’t want to be held to certain beliefs that I don’t necessarily agree with.
Faith and Spirituality are a different matter all together. I am strong in both and I don’t often discuss them. I just am so rarely on the same wavelength that I cannot bear to defend myself all the time.
Have I Changed So Much?
I spent the evening with Serenity, James, Shauna, Bryce, etc. It was a lot of fun! We started at the bowling alley, where I bowled 131. Out of the 11 of us, I was 4th. I never bowl, so it was really great fun. Rennie and I got beers, making the evening even better. I also never drink. After, we went back to James & Shauna’s house. Shauna fed me, we visited, and then played Scene It. It is okay, but made me realize how out of touch I am with movies. I knew almost none of the answers. Blah.
Thing is that I felt a little out of touch with them. I haven’t spent time with them for about 2 years, and it had been a while at that point. I really didn’t think that I had changed since then, but the fact that I related very little made me realize that I had. Why is it that I am always changing into someone new, leaving my friends behind, no longer having the same things in common?
I guess it doesn’t matter. We seemed to be able to find enough things to talk about to keep ourselves amused. I even got along alright with Bryce, which had never happened when I lived with them. He is Shauna’s brother and was a source of tension at that time. It was nice to just get along with him. It was also very nice to see Serenity (Rennie), who has become my blog buddy. I actually just read through her blog occasionally, but it is fun to know she is always there.
November 10th, 2004
Man, I feel like a woman… no, no wait… I don’t either…
So, as you may guess from that bit of stupidity, I went ahead and got the Shania Twain Greatest Hits CD. I absolutely love it!!! Am I worried about the money that will now not be available for bills… no. Should I be? Probably. I also got the Britney Spears album. I like both of them, but had never actually purchased a CD from either of them. Me=nerd.
Xanga:
I like the new feature on Xanga I think… kinda juvenile and hook-upy, but the format is nice. I would like to see some things updated though. I would like to be able to join more blogrings as a premium member. I would also like to phone in posts like livejournal users. I think that is great, especially when you have no access to a computer, but have something to say and don’t want to lose it. Mine would end up being pathetic, but that would have to be okay.
Fun & Games:
Tuesday evening was fun. I went over to Lori’s and played Settlers with her and Jess. Always a little bitter, never too boring, usually a great time. It was nice. It had been so long since we played. Hopefully we can play Magic sometime soon. I really am more interested in doing that. We also played Yatzee. I was first loser in that game.
All this game playing was brought to you by Lori’s new dining room set, which is awesome. I absolutely love it. It is inbetween regular height and bar height, which just makes me feel like a kid. It is a gorgeous deep red wood that just looks like Lori. It is also the perfect size for any board game. Excellent purchase.
Speaking of games and fun, I really want to host a party soon. I had offered to have a New Year’s party, forgetting that Lori always has the New Year’s party, just like John always had the Halloween party. I might just do a game night, but if I must I could always have a Christmas party. I just fear that everyone will be partied out.
Parents:
After planning to visit, I found out that my parents will be out of town the entire time I am off. I am going over on Saturday night while my mom packs between her trips and I’ll stay through Sunday. My dad will be there Sunday… It is weird because they are always home. And my mom offered to take me with her to Nebraska, but I have to be back to work before she gets back. Oh well… Maybe I can visit Brad & Jess Sunday too. (I really just want to see the nephews, but I will pretend to want to see my brother and his wife… )
Sorry about those horrid buttons. I never really saw them. I have replaced them. I hope the images are better.
November 9th, 2004
Things and Rumors of Things:
The crazy lady gave Lori a Longaberger basket, which is a funny story. It was a good day at work. Busy, but good. Hopefully, we can have everything in order by tomorrow (or at the very least next Monday). I keep thinking I must be doing something wrong, as my manager has been quiet around me recently, but I think she is just frantic to get the store ready for the holidays.
I made Meghan yelp several times today, which was great fun. I just love working with the people back in music lately. I guess that sounds wrong — like I enjoy tormenting the poor dears, but I think they are a lot of fun. And it helps that they are all pretty darn productive as well. Good good good.
Renee is rumored to have a blog. I will investigate momentarily, but will finish this post first.
I am interested in reading The Stupidest Angel so if you have read it let me know what you thought. Marla and Nancy both enjoyed it and I am waiting for Nancy to loan it to me. It looks really funny. I am also interested in reading the newest Push books. I can’t remember the titles at the moment. And I would like to read both Salt and Cod. I really need some money because I also want several CDs. Britney Spears, Shania Twain, & Elton John all had CDs today that I would like to get. Rufus Wainwright has one coming soon. I also want Friends Season 8 (the first one I didn’t get on the release date), A Home At The End Of The World, Shrek 2, Harry Potter 3, Rudolph, Emmet Otter’s Jugband Christmas, Without A Trace Season 1, and Profiler Seasons 1-4. A 4th job might cut it, but I never found a second. Oh well…
Lori and The Mysteries Surrounding Her:
My sincerest apologies to Lori, who I know felt slighted by me lately. I have been aloof, but not for any reason. I think that I just get locked into new routines easily and when I got sick and then Lori went to Houston, I got locked into just sitting around watching TV because that is all I did for those 2 weeks. If forced, I can alter what I do from day to day, but unless it is necessary, I just do the same ol’ thing. Not at all about Lori, who was the focus of my previous routine. I am much like my father…
Again, sorry. It isn’t about you, Lori. Neither is it to be considered a lack of consideration. Blah blah blah… same old story.
House:
The kitchen is clean.
I want a digital camera that works so I can post more pictures…. Sigh…
November 7th, 2004
Sleep:
I slept for 20 hours again. Something is very wrong. Maybe depression. Maybe just fatigue. I seem to never feel tired, but sleep too long when I finally do fall asleep. It is okay, but I am sorry to Lori who was expecting my help today. It wasn’t my intention to sleep all day. Oh well. (by today, I mean Sunday). I feel like I need to catch up, so I am thrilled that I only have 3 shifts to work before I have a week off from work. Maybe I can level out my sleep patterns in that time.
Vacation:
Suddenly there is a lot to do in the small time I have off. I plan on going to Stillwater to see my family on Thursday and Friday. Saturday is Nathan’s 2nd birthday party and I will be going over to James & Shauna’s house for that. Rennie is supposed to be there, which will be great. I really miss all of them and hope we can start communicating more often. I would like to spend a couple of days hanging out and therefore not having any plans to go anywhere. I can do that Sunday and Monday. It should be nice and it all starts when I get off work on Wednesday.
Same Ol’ Story:
My house needs to be cleaned as usual. I wish my mind worked like Lori’s. Her house is always clean and she doesn’t seem to stress too much over it.
Top 10 Stores I Would Shop At If I Had Money (or shop at more):
1. Saks Fifth Avenue
2. Banana Republic
3. IQ Furniture
4. Pottery Barn
5. Urban Outfitters
6. IKEA
7. Vertigo
8. Pier 1
9. Ultimate Electronics
10. Sears
I am generally happy with my financial situation, but if I had the money to shop at these places I would gladly do so. As it is, for what I want they remain mostly out of my range. That is okay though.
November 3rd, 2004
Election:
I am sorry world. I am sorry. I don’t understand why people
cannot see what an ignorant slut this president is. Why can’t
they see that discrimination is wrong in all forms. W supports
discrimination. Why can’t people see that minority issues should
not be decided by voters. We did not do this with women’s rights
or African American rights. Our country was so divided by a
minority population to contribute to a civil war. What measures
will now be required for me to be a real citizen of the country I live
in and love? When will it be my turn to feel free?
Fuck you if you voted to keep this. Fuck you if you want me to be
under the thumb of the religious right who have conveniently forgotten
that we have a separation of church and state. I will eventually
have to accept that my life will never be different. Bush will
never give fair attention to any issue affecting my life. Bush
will not only ignore me, but will continue pissing off the world
through his ignorant arrogance. Allies matter. Fuck you,
George W Bush! You are not my president. You do not have a
mandate.
Half of this country still opposes you and your “Christian
agenda.” That is ironic that a Christian person would support the
death penalty, war, discrimination. It is amusing that these are
the issues that would define them. Opposition to these issues is
Christian. I am ashamed to live in the United States. I am
ashamed that George W Bush was re-elected. I am upset that some
people don’t understand how dangerous this man is. I want the
troops home with their families, not occupying Iraq, where oil reserves
forced us into attacking. Bush: Fuck you, you ignorant slut!
This is a sad day.
On the other hand, good job Kerry/Edwards. We were out
here. Don’t be disheartened. You had support. I am
just sorry it wasn’t enough.
My last post:
Sorry if any of you were offended by my last post. I was upset and I feel passionate about politics very rarely. It was good to release. I just feel trapped by this country lately. Jess, Lori, and I discussed this issue tonight and I feel much better about it.
Obsession(s):
I know I get obsessed easily, but I am very into squash of all kinds right now and I am on a crusade to get everyone to eat squash. Tonight I made “zingerbread” while Lori made enchilada soup, to which I added zucchini. I got 2 cookbooks and don’t want to waste them. I want to make pumpkin pies from different types of pumpkins, pumpkin soup in winter squash bowls, squash chips w/ cucumber dip, and all kinds of other things. I think summer squash is my favorite food. The zingerbread was excellent by the way.
Lazy:
I overslept because of the election and missed my dental appointment. Lori and I spent the day watching movies, talking, cooking, sleeping, and just generally relaxing. It really was nice. We had a fire going and it felt nice to not worry about work or my parents. It really made me want to start using my fireplace, which I have covered by a bookcase right now. I really wish I had someone to share my life with. Someone to cuddle with.
Top 10 Stores I Actually Shop At:
1. Target
2. Barnes & Noble
3. Lulu Faboo
4. IKEA
5. Lowe’s
6. Wal-mart Neiborhood Market
7. Walls Bargain Center
8. Reasor’s
9. Hancock Fabrics
10. Nam-Hai
November 1st, 2004
Boo! whatever:
Yesterday was such a lazy day… terrifically so. I enjoyed it
though — lazy is relaxing. Jess, Lori, and I watched Survivor
(taped) and Will & Grace, ate some yummy soft tacos, and carved our
jack-o-lanterns. I just cut leaves blowing in the wind into mind,
as it will be up for a few days past Halloween. Not that my
decorations will be down until tomorrow, but whatever. Jess’ was
scary and Lori’s was silly, which wasn’t surprising from either of
them. They are so wonderfully predictable. I like it.
Vote:
I did it… I can’t take it back now! Lori and I went to vote
while we were on lunch today. It actually took a little too long
because we were unclear on where to go, but once we got there it went
pretty fast. I know my individual vote won’t matter here in
Oklahoma, but I feel happy that I cancel at least one Bush vote
out. It makes me sad to think that he could win tomorrow.
Blah. For anyone interested, I have nothing to hide: I
voted: for John Kerry, for Brad Carson, for all gambling measures, for
education lotto, against new cigarette/income tax, for immobile veterans
not paying property tax, for Doug Dodd, against Native American tribes
being fined for not charging cigarette tax, and against most of the
justices on the ballot. That was just to be a dick, which isn’t
fair. The rest were thought out votes at least.
Nice:
Nice has been the theme of the day. We started the day hearing
about Jeff’s Kindness Campaign 2004, as he calls it. It calls for
random acts of kindness between managers to the point that we actually
drew names to be sure we have a person to do something extra for… a
card, helping them out, a gift of appreciation… it doesn’t require
money. It was interesting because later I was looking at a book
about groups of people who don’t fit in, but who have come
together. In it was “Join Me!” This group, British I believe,
started when a guy took out an ad in a paper that simply said “Join
Me!” He has received responses from around the world and the
group now has a mission. “Random acts of kindness for random
people.” I think it is great. Too often we take our fellow
human beings for granted.
Website/Photos:
I spent hours yesterday morning working on my homepage… hours!
I am pretty happy with it now and it includes a photo album. Visit Brian’s homepage here. Let me know what you think of it! It was fun, but I would like
the button at the top to open pages in a new window and could figure
out how. If anyone knows, please let me know here. Also, I
added reviews. I just put 3 on, but check ‘em out.
