I have been unable to sleep since chatting with this great guy. I really hope to meet him soon. It was so nice to just take a risk again and be vulnerable to someone. I have really held myself back lately and it has sucked to not have anyone. I don’t know what will happen, but I am so excited that I at least took the step to talk to someone. Yay!! I also chatted with another great guy… He was incredibly sweet.

Lori recently posted something about John. I think I am refusing to believe it now. I was mourning normally and then nothing. I am not sad, but it is more like I blocked him out for now. It seems so weird that I am able to talk about it and still know that I am not currently dealing with this. I have been trying all day to deal with this; I refuse to believe that John died.

I made the schedule with my vacation on it!!!! Yay! I am going to Austin for a couple of days and then to Houston for a couple. Depending on what happens I may need to stop in Norman on the way! It will be nice to see Travis and Sandra (Austin). It has been too long. I want to shop in Houston and Lori’s family lives there (near Clearlake area), which makes the trip convenient since I don’t need any hotels!! I really hope they let me stay with them. I am really excited to just have some time off. Wow I have spent a ton of time in Texas in the past 2 years. Can’t wait…

Visiting People:
I forgot to go visit my dad. I am horrible. Maybe I can go tomorrow evening. I also chatted with Kendra today. I haven’t seen JD & Kendra in an obscene amount of time. I could visit. They live an hour away… that isn’t far.

Great guy:
I get to meet the great guy no later than Saturday night. I am excited about it. I hope he is who he seems to be on here… Hmm… I also have my usual reservations about being repulsive. I know better. Hmmm… I am nervous. Its been a long time.

Featured Image Art: flag of The State of Texas

originally posted on Xanga

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