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Justin’s Eye

Today is on Justin’s walking schedule, so I waited for him to get up and go to the park.  When he got up, his eye was swollen nearly shut.  He went to urgent care and they prescribed antibiotics, but also told him to take allergy medication and use ointment until it all clears up.  I assumed he was off the hook for exercise; there’s no need to push it if you have an infection, but after he got back I announced I was going for a walk and he came with me.  He got in a little over a quarter of a mile, but considering one of his eyes is puffed up and he can’t see out of it, I would say that’s actually impressive.  It tells me he is willing to put in some work.  Things change!

The day was a little too warm.  I said I was shooting for 2 miles, but after about 1.5, I started heading back.  It was too hot, the park was filling with kids, and I was starting to need to use the restroom.  I felt great, and I still do, but I decided to just go home and be done with it!  If I feel up to it this evening, I might go out for more.   We’ll see.  I really want to be doing 3 miles a day starting on the 1st, so I really should keep it up.  Twice a day feels very manageable.  There and back, four times around the park, plus just a little extra is 1.5 miles.  That sounds easy.  11 times around plus a little extra sounds daunting.

Photo of the Day (sticks found at 11th & Washington, Guthrie, OK)

On the 24th, I picked up a magnolia seed pod and carried it home.  It sort of triggered me to start picking up things and bringing them home on my walks.  I don’t know if that is permanent, but it is fun.  Today I found confetti.  I might actually try to pick more of that up; we don’t need that much plastic in the soil, but it is hard to get a hold of.  Even if it is larger pieces.  I had decided to grab the strap in my walking photo during my walk yesterday, but forgot it.  It still counts!

I’ve been thinking about the way I organize my journaling.  The Wandering Hermit was on a separate site, so it has always been a separate entity, as are my book notes.  I think I’d like to create a new journaling template for 2026, something that has spaces for all the different things as well as my sort of daily to do list.  I can clip from it, but it would consolidate my days into a single post in DayOne, which I think I might quite like.  It also might make my website cleaner if I’m posting once a day (except for reviews and whatnot).  I’ll work on that.

[Walk #337, 1.63 miles]

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A Chase

I’m a little sore.  My knee was slightly swollen when I woke up, so I need to make sure to not overdo things for a few days and see if that resolves itself.  I didn’t do that much of a walk yesterday, but I was active and on my feet most of the day and the two days before that I did a full three mile walk, so I’m probably just dealing with the consequences of the long break I took from my walks.  

It feels warmer today than the thermometer indicates.  That could just be me; I did wake up in the middle of the night feeling little too hot, but it was only 71º in the house.  

When I got to the park, the only other person there was a woman walking the same path as I walk.  Her pace is much better than mine, especially today, so I kept finding ways to stay out of her way so she never had to cross paths with me.  I think it’s better for others, but it also prevents people from sneaking up on me from behind.  I did get in 20 step ups as a result.  Those feel so good and get my heart really going.  I know I need to add dumbbells; I’m dreading carrying them to the park with me for my walks!  But I will.  There are a lot of things I need to get over.

It’s Brad’s birthday.  He is going for his usual birthday dinner at Cattleman’s.  He’s invited me, and I’m on the fence about it.  On the one hand, I actually do like hanging out with him and that is a good opportunity.  On the other hand, Friday evening at Cattleman’s can mean long wait times for the opportunity to sit and not have anything to eat.  Not that I mind not eating (they don’t serve anything I can have), but it can be annoying for that to be after waiting two hours to be seated.  I’m thinking about it.

Brent’s going to be over this afternoon, and after he leaves for his evening photoshoot, I think I’ll go for a second walk to try to get in my three miles.  Maybe doing it all at once is part of my problem.  Maybe it’s the total.  Maybe it doesn’t have anything to do with my walking.

[Walk #336, 2.18 miles]

 

Playlist

1. Give Life Back to Music, Daft Punk
2. Totem, Zazie
3. Cold Sweat, Hot Boys, Bright Light Bright Light
4. Magic, Kylie Minogue
5. Ding, Jewels Sparkles
6. Play, Jax Jones & Years & Years
7. Come into My World, Kylie Minogue
8. Gaslight, Derik Fein
9. Easy Lover, Miley Cyrus
10. Around the World, Daft Punk
11. Cinnamon, Derik Fein
12. From the Start, Goldenfang Records
13. Any Which Way, Scissor Sisters

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Deer, Turkey, Toads

This was a surprisingly good and productive day.  Brent & I went to Glencoe to do a final cleanup of trash & get the propane tank listed and picked up.  The only thing left to do out there is the owner of the mobile home to come out and get it, but everything we were going to do is done (unless the mobile home pickup results in a mess, which we may need to hire someone to cleanup).  Everything takes so long.  On the way to the recycling center, there were deer and turkeys in the Johnson’s yard across the creek.  Both are common, but not usually at the same time.

Brent is fun to hang out when he’s not focused on trying to get out of the task.  He has relaxed since buying his house and moving.  When we couldn’t get find a place to take a refrigerator, we took it to Brad’s and to my surprise Brent went in and visited with Brad, AJ, & Kenzie.  They are remodeling at Brad’s and he is not talking about moving any longer.  I don’t agree, but it’s not my house and not my life.  It was actually a pretty good visit in spite of the smell of smoke.  Brad says he quit again.  I’m glad to hear it.  I would love if he started taking care of himself more!!

Photo of the Day (Stillwater Recycling Center)

It was a long day, and I didn’t get home until 8, so I only did a 25 minute walk.  I got in a lot of movement throughout the day, so I still feel pretty good about it.  The park was full of toads and there were teenagers hanging out on the playground.  That made me feel good actually; I worry about young people not spending enough time just still being kids.  I got in my steps, avoiding stepping on toads, and got back home.  I’m so tired now, but I have a washer & dryer now and I put a load of laundry in for the first time and so I almost feel like this is where my time in Guthrie starts.  I don’t have anything to pull me away to do other tasks.  

[Walk #335, 1.15 miles]

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The Magnolia Seed Pod

What a great walk!  The temperature was great, so I woke Justin up to go with me and to get in his own exercise.  I had him choose three non-consecutive days to do exercise, and after a lot of protesting he chose Tuesday, Thursday, & Saturday.  Yesterday, I wanted to get in a specific early morning walk, so I wasn’t available (he won’t do it on his own yet), so we started his new routine today.  He will end up having a consecutive situation this week, but then we will be on track starting next week.  

I was a little misleading to start with, knowing full well that walking up to Highway 33 and across the bridge is almost exactly one mile.  I didn’t not tell him that, but I didn’t mention how far it was, just to say it isn’t too far.  I’m trying to encourage him to get in 25 minutes at least, and that should be one mile.  This little trick doubled that at least.  I will say, as nice as that walk is, highway traffic is very loud.  

After we crossed the bridge, and after I had paused to try and get a good photo of a blue heron (I didn’t; I never do), we made our way down along the side to cross under the bridge.  I wanted to see if there was another way back across the creek nearby, and after walking a bit, I pulled out my phone to check.  No.  The next bridge a on the other side of town, so we’d have to go back up and across the way we had come.  But by that time, it seemed just as easy to go around through downtown, so we did that.  A magnolia had dropped pods on the sidewalk, and it reminded me of the magnolia I would pick flowers from on the way home from school.  I loved picking up the discarded pods in Fall and picking the flowers in Spring. 

As we turned onto Division to go up to the crosswalk, I failed to see the split level of the sidewalk and fell onto the sidewalk.  Crushed my phone’s screen protector, but it had done its job.  I was actually impressed that the fall didn’t phase me or my breathing.  It doesn’t even register on my heart rate tracked by my watch.  It just did not phase me one bit.

We made our way back across, Justin completely over me “stopping to take photos like you’ve never seen anything before.”  I thought that was funny.  We walked back through the neighborhood once across the bridge, and over to Banner Park, where I completed my walk by going once around.  I wanted to get that last mile in.  

It did teach me that I can easily just walk to downtown.  And I will.  Especially as I get more used to doing three miles a day, and if I start adding more.  It won’t take much to go down, stop in to the bookstore we passed by, or in one of the places for a coffee.  It could make for a more interesting routine.  And if that seems too far, there are easy places to park to do a downtown walk.  I do wish there were more businesses going in.  I don’t want to see Guthrie die.  Downtown is such a big part of its identity. 

I had expected to get in a short walk, but I’m so glad I did something longer.  I feel good.

[Walk #334, 3.12 miles]

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Threes All The Way Down

I’m feeling both exhausted and very accomplished!  I got in my 3.33 miles this morning, and while that was my goal, I almost felt like I could have done more…that is, until my headphones stopped working properly and my shoes started actively falling apart!  Even after having those issues, I considered just continuing on until I heard a train coming and I thought it would be fun to be on the bridge as the train passed underneath.  I am just a kid in an adult costume after all.  And it was fun.  I enjoyed that quite a bit.  Little did I know, it was one of three trains that would be coming through, so I still could have gotten a little extra in.  I would have been pretty tired when I got back though, so I think I made the right call turning around when I did.

This is a great week to get back on track with soups.  I normally just have a crockpot of soup, and I have what I need to make a light version at the moment.  I can also make some cauliflower rice meals with broccoli & sweet potato.  That would give me some variety without going overboard on calories.

I had another excellent conversation with Robert last night.  He keeps me feeling motivated with my exercise.  Later today, I’m going to make a list of the things I need, like dumbbells and yoga bricks.  I might just get online and order them.  I’m trying to get back to being serious about fitness; it might be the push my body needs for some weight loss.  We will see!!

[Walk #333, 3.33 miles]

Playlist

  1. Born for This, Kali J & LiTTie
  1. Le Freak, Chic
  1. Whisper, Able Heart
  1. Love Will Save the Day (Jellybean & David Morales 1987 Classic Underground Mix Radio Edit), Whitney Houston
  1. PS: Je t’hime, Christophe Willem
  1. Muscle, Years & Years
  1. The Valley of the Pagans, Gorillaz (feat. Beck)
  1. Make Me Feel, Janelle Monáe
  1. Roses, Adam Lambert & Nile Rodgers
  1. Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) (Steve Perry & Bryce Miller Extended Remix), Journey & Steve Perry
  1. Wrecking Ball, Miley Cyrus
  1. Get Ready For This, Kali J & LiTTie
  1. Think U The Shit (Fart), Ice Spice
  1. Die Together, LVCRFT (feat. Scar Mar Superscare & Uffie The Vampire Slayer)
  1. Holding Out For a Hero, Adam Lambert
  1. Once In a Lifetime / Yeah the Girls / ID1 (mixed by Fatboy Slim), Talking Heads, FISHER (feat. MERYLL), & ID
  1. Nothing I Would Change, Janice Robinson
  1. Jungle (mixed by Fatboy Slim), Fred again…
  1. Die With A Smile, Lady Gaga & Bruno Mars
  1. Everybody Red in the Face, Ric Wilson
  1. One More Time, Daft Punk
  2. Emojis, Adam Casanova (feat. Abby Parra)

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Psychosis & Plans for the Future

I can’t stop thinking about how strange the world is right now.  There are many people who believe tomorrow they will be raptured.  There are stories online of people quitting their jobs, selling their stuff—one lady is keeping her kids home from school, so they can all be together when it happens.  It’s like a collective psychosis.  It’s funny, but it’s actually disturbing.  What are those people going to do on Wednesday?  Sure, the prognosticators will choose a new date to grift the gullible, but what about the people who gave up so much on a lie?  I’m concerned.

The influencers have convinced millions that a slain racist is a martyr, but they don’t look into it.  The system is set up for people to follow blindly.  If someone says it with a podium in front of them and a cross behind them, they cannot be lying.  And so, they are losing their minds.  Some are convinced that he will be resurrected, comparing him to Jesus.  The man who advocated hate and fear and division, the man who would take food out of a child’s mouth if their parent wasn’t sufficiently deserving.  The man who believed that LGBTQ people should be stoned to death, as it says in The Bible.  That man, that hate monger.  They are wrapping him into their belief system.  It’s gross.

My walk was warm, but good.  It’s been a year and a half, but I am still amazed when I can do these walks and not be out of breath.  I am a little under the weather today, but that’s the ragweed.  We just can’t seem to get a good break from it and the longer the pollen count is high, the worse I feel.  It’s going to be even higher tomorrow.  I’ll just have to take some extra meds.  I don’t know when we’ll get a reprieve.  We need a good sustained rain, but there are just more of these showers in the forecast, and those don’t really help much.  

In honor of walk #333, which I will be doing tomorrow, I’d like to get in 3.33 miles.  I just think that would be fun.  I’ve been going around the park 4 times, and that doesn’t even get me close to that.  I’d have to go around about 12 times.  I can do it, and I’d like to do it.  Maybe I’ll have to incorporate some of the sidewalks as well.  If I go really early, I can walk the sidewalk along Noble and go across the train tracks.  It sounds like a lot, but I can do it.

[Walk #332, 1.39 miles]

 

Playlist

  1. Oh Sherrie, Steve Perry
  1. Music Video Girl, Adam Casanova
  1. If You’re Over Me, Years & Years
  1. Georgy Porgy, Toto
  1. It Do Take Nurve, Onya Nurve
  1. She Bop, Cyndi Lauper
  1. This Is Your Moment, The Cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race
  1. Cherry Bomb, Joan Jett
  1. They Can’t Get Next to You, Rick Wilson
  1. Fatnômes, Christophe Willem
  1. Meltdown, Jake Shears

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Do You Remember?

Cloudy day.  A little bit cooler than yesterday, but definitely still warm.  I thought I might get a full hour in, but that didn’t quite happen.  I think if it had been a weekday and the park was empty, I might have done the full hour.  I’m not sure why I seem to be shying away from my neighbors.  They don’t scare me; I’m more afraid that I bother them.  I guess I still feel a little like a guest in their home.  I just need to work on feeling more ownership of my place and some sense of being a full part of the community.  I’ll get there.

My leg was swollen and tightly squeezed into my jeans.  It has me worried because it’s been about 9 months since I was dealing with that issue.  I honestly don’t know what I might be doing wrong.  It’s frustrating because I feel like I’m trying so hard and not only am I not losing weight, but it feels like I’m gaining.  I know I’m not doing everything in my power.  I could start there.  Maybe white rice is my Achilles heel.  Maybe I’m using too much salt.  Maybe I’m cheating too often.  I need to go back to square one and built from the bottom up.  Eliminating doesn’t work for me, but starting over will. 

[Walk #331, 1.65 miles]

Playlist

  1. September, Earth, Wind & Fire
  1. You, Regard, Troye Sivan & Tate McRae
  1. Exercise the Demons, LVCRFT (feat. Olivia Demon Spawn & Bruce Campbell)
  1. Twister, The Cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race
  1. Dance Like You Got Good Credit, Cazwell (feat. Cherie Lily)
  1. Qui tu es, Emmanuel Moire
  1. Nothing Really Matters, Madonna
  1. Quest for the Hammer of Glory, Gloryhammer
  1. Shadow of the Night, Pat Benatar
  1. When the Devil Calls My Name, LVCRFT
  1. Pussy On Fire, The Cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars

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The Spirit of Fun

The goal was to walk over to the skate park and back.  We got close to it, close enough to see, but Justin was struggling, so we didn’t actually go up to it.  Still, we got in a good walk, and I’m hoping he can see it is very doable.  Yeah, he was exhausted this time, but it does get easier over time.

I am so happy to see all of the Halloween decorations around the neighborhood.  I love seeing people get into the spirit of fun; I worried a little when I added a spiderweb to my front door the other day.  None of my neighbors had anything up.  Maybe they won’t ever, but it is still a little early for some people.  We’ll see.  In one yard, there was a giant skeleton and a giant Jack Skellington, which sang a song from the movie as we walked by.  I love that kind of thing.  Even if I don’t want certain things in my own yard, I’m always excited when others have them in theirs.  I also hate those decorations while in a store, but in a yard I’m into it.  In a store, I’m just there to get what I need and get out; I don’t need the clamor.  I’m appreciating the neighborhood more and more.

I also got a lot of good landscaping ideas.  I need to come up with a concept and try and execute it.  In the past, I’ve just gathered things I like and tried to make it work.  And it doesn’t.  I need charts and plans, spreadsheets.  I’ll keep an eye on other yards in other walks.  The goal is to eventually walk every part of the neighborhood, but I admit it is a little more comfortable on a weekday midmorning.  I’m not opposed to waving at neighbors, but I do like to take pictures of things and certainly don’t want to inadvertently upset anyone.  

[Walk #330, 1.57 miles]

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Hydrated

So, making up a bunch of teas to drink everyday is going better than I expected.  I’m already on my 4th one today & I’ve only been making 4 and a half.  I’ve been struggling to drink enough water recently, and even lemonade hasn’t been doing it, so I thought mixing things up would help.  It has.  It’s been taking Justin two days to get through one 32 oz. jar, while I get through eight, plus two 16 oz. jars. 

I actually feel like I’ve been retaining water, but I assume that is because I have been so inconsistent with my water recently.  At some point, I’ll stop holding on to so much of it.

It was a really nice walk, warm.  I left as soon as the Sears technician was finished repairing the dishwasher, so it was not the ideal time.  But even though it’s warmer in the afternoon, I haven’t hated it.  Yesterday’s walk was drizzly at least, but I’ve largely gotten past my inability to exist in the heat.

I’m still afraid to weigh myself.  I think I’m going to wait until 1 November to do a weigh in.  That is time for routines and whatnot to show some results.  We’ll see.  Movement has been going well, but I’m still doing under 1.5 miles per walk, so I need to start ramping up or doing 2 sessions.  That might be more beneficial; I’ll look into it.

I stopped by Five Below to look at exercise equipment yesterday, but I just sort of froze.  I don’t have a clue what I need.  I need someone over my shoulder at all times, reminding me of what to buy and what to do and how long and to stretch.  I did remember to do 10 step ups during my walk; it wasn’t a ton, but at least I got those in.  Again, I just don’t know exactly what I’m aiming for.  Life in the clouds is fun and all, but it comes at a cost!

[Walk #329, 1.28 miles]

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Strickland Park

Well, today did not go as planned.  It never does!  I went to Glencoe to see if the Brent & the guys he hired had gotten all of the trash, and no.  They did not.  On the way, I got a text from Sonja asking about when the mobile home would be gone and the area cleaned up.  Her patience is almost certainly wearing thin, and I don’t understand why I am the only one who can deal with this issue.  I called Brent & he contacted the buyer of the mobile home, but I told him he and I had to return next week to get it done.  So, hopefully we can finish.  He wants me to transport OPEN cans of paint in my car because his truck is too precious.  Then rent a trailer.  It’s ridiculous that we are still having these fights.

I needed to decompress, so Justin and I went shopping at Five Below and Dollar Tree, followed by a walk at Strickland Park.  Since I was in Stillwater, I thought it would be nice as I said yesterday, to go walk somewhere in the area.  And it was.  There’s a lot of fun stuff at Strickland, and the trail is walkable, even though the playground dominates the space.  During school hours on a weekday was a great time to go get in my steps.  It made me want to walk all the area parks.  Maybe I will make a checklist and just visit them all!

I talked to Conner on the phone on my way home.  He’s hoping to get out of Stillwater at some point.  I think it is a good idea if that’s what he wants to do!  There’s a world out there and there is no reason to not get out and just enjoy life.  I was so happy to hear his mom had come by to have lunch and do some painting.  It’s been rocky, but I’m glad to see things are in such a good place with her.  Now, if we can just get his dad there as well!

Even with the stress that lingers from Glencoe, I felt pretty good today.  The walk was nice, the pollen was a little lower, the temperature wasn’t so bad.  

[Walk #328, 1.12 miles]

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92ºF

It’s so hot!  I actually thought it seemed okay when I headed out, but while I was walking it was uncomfortably warm and by the time I got home, I was drenched in sweat.  To be fair, I was also working on my pace.  And it went pretty well: 20’29”/mile.

I’m thinking about going to Stillwater & Glencoe tomorrow, and if I do, I’d like to walk somewhere there that I don’t normally get to walk.  I still can hopefully get in an early morning walk, just in case.  I want to go up there to get some vinca from the old place to plant at my new house.  It isn’t ideal to replant this time of year, but I need to grab some of the vinca before I can’t.  

[Walk #327, 1.38 miles]

 

Playlist

  1. Toujours, La Grande Dame & Magenta Club
  1. Indélébile, Christophe Willem & Zaho
  1. She Works Hard for the Money, Donna Summer
  1. Star Quality, The Cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race
  1. All Over Your Face, Cazwell
  1. Rendezvous, Years & Years
  1. Feel Good Inc., Gorillaz & De La Soul (feat. David Jolicoeur, Kelvin Mercer & Vincent Mason)
  1. Emojis, Adam Casanova (feat. Abby Parra)
  1. Rêvalité, –M–

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This photo was taken on the trip to Glencoe. I was on the phone during the walk and did not take a photo.

I’m Back

Finally!  After excuses and life’s being too busy, I am hopefully back to daily walks.  I had been planning to get back to it anyway, but I was so frustrated this afternoon that I needed to get out of the house for a moment.

Moving to Guthrie seems like the right thing for me, and the new house has been great, but of course this month has only started and there are challenges.  The dishwasher stopped working a few days ago, so I scheduled a repair for that.  Of course, we knew that it was on its last leg during the home inspection.  That’s how I ended up with a home warranty.  Hopefully, they are able to just replace it.  But I guess if they got it working properly, I couldn’t complain that much.  It doesn’t fit properly into the space and I would like that to change.  We’ll see.  Someone should be here tomorrow.  On top of that, there have been other electric issues and currently the hot water is not working.  I suspect it is the electric panel and not the hot water heater, but I just need to have an electrician out to look at it.  I discovered that this morning, and then today during a drive to Glencoe, the fan on the car AC went out.  I’m wondering how many other things could go wrong this week.  

All of that sounds expensive and annoying, so when Justin was doing what Justin does and not really responding, it started to really grate.  I get that his anxiety can cause him to become so overwhelmed that he retreats internally and basically can no longer participate externally.  I do understand that.  However, and a massive however, he thinks things are always fine and doesn’t understand why he should take his medication.  He doesn’t see himself from the outside, so he doesn’t see the problems that it causes.  It’s such a catch-22.  Medicated, he loses some of the personality that makes him so special, but he is able to function better as an adult in his 40s.  And I know that his reluctance is more than that.  There are side effects he doesn’t like, and if he has someone to do everything for him, he can get by not having to be as functioning.  Is that fair?  I worry sometimes that I’m being unfair ABOUT him.  I don’t think I am.  While I do genuinely want the best for him, when you live in a household with others, you participate.  Currently, I have to do everything.  A single task given to Justin can take a few weeks to complete.  He might as well be doing nothing in that case.  And then I feel overwhelmed because I’m having to put this place together myself.  Having just done the majority of the work moving out of Mom & Dad’s house, the shed, and then my own house (including Justin’s stuff), I’m so tired and I still feel like I’m getting no assistance from people involved.  I’m not sure what to do.

That frustration aside, the walk was nice.  I only did 15 minutes.  It was a pretty impromptu walk, so I didn’t really know what routes worked best around this neighborhood.  I can see how I will easily be able to get good walks in as I get back up to 3 miles.  I could easily snake up and down the streets in various ways.  I need to get my walking kit back together, so I have music and a bag and probably a cap.  It was a little sunny and I don’t need a sunburn on my face!  Tomorrow, while I would prefer an early walk, I will have to wait for the repair on the dishwasher to be over.  But I can start going out in the morning on Wednesday.  I was upsetting some dogs who didn’t know me, but after some time they’ll get used to me and it won’t be an issue.  I don’t know if I need treats like I have had before.  That was mostly to befriend rural dogs who are more likely to bite.  The dogs around here are inside fences… mostly.  I think I should be fine without.

[Walk #314, 0.71 miles]

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0606 St Malo 3A rather boring day.  First, we got up and had a gloriously good breakfast.  The beverages were watered down.  We then drove about an hour and a half through rather flat country.  Many of the towns had “troglodite houses,” houses built in the cliff using it for 3 of the 4 walls.  We then arrived at a winery in Saumur.  They made a sparkling white which was actually champagne but not from the Champagne area.  It was wonderful!  I loved it.  … I guess my wine experience wasn’t over — just for red wine!  We then rode about 6 hours to St Malo.  The most beautiful city  I have seen on our tour thus far, sail boats lined the coast and the old city was gorgeous.  We had a dinner at which we ordered a white wine — I didn’t have any.  I am quite addicted to Orangina.  A few of us left at 9:30 for an evening walk in the old city.  All the stores were closed and the city was beautiful.  We bought some ice cream.  I had passion fruit.  It was quite wonderful.  We then “strolled” back to the Hotel Mascotte (where we were staying).  It was great.

{2007 Notes}

» 30 August 2007

I don’t know what I thought was boring about that day.  I could spend the rest of my days in St Malo, which I had figured out the day we arrived.  It was one of the greatest moments of the two weeks, strolling the streets of the old city.  “Old city” refers to the original city of St Malo, encased in a stone wall.  The city has outgrown this wall and now spills out around it into a rather large place.  I have no clue why I put quotation marks around the word strolled.

The drinks we had with breakfast were all very watered down.  Already, we had seen that breakfast includes coffee, orange juice, water, & milk.  It seems odd, but the portions are all very small.  The winery was interesting.  Making wine is a rather slow and uneventful process.

If I am ever in Europe again, I would like to spend my time in St Malo — or at the very least visit again.  It was my idea of heaven.  I think that explains why I was such a nerd with my descriptions of it.  I was 16 after all.

» 7 May 2016

troglodyte-1024x682My time if France was rushed; there was so much planned for us to see in two weeks that when I look back on it, I think of it as more like a two month vacation.  I clearly remember the moments I believed would be those I carried with me for the rest of my life, and I remember trying to dwell in them slightly more in order to create the memories I knew would be so important.  In many cases I was spot on, and those events are absolute stand out moments.  But rushing in a bus through the Loire Valley, I couldn’t know how the troglodyte houses would stick with me.  I think of those homes often, enchanted by the fairy tale beauty of little cottages stuck in the sides of cliffs, sprawling communities that resemble so much other villages in France, but with almost disregard for the rock structures around them, or rather in spite of them.  I wanted to go in the houses, see the rocky interior walls, experience how these people lived.  But we were only driving through, on to bigger and more typically touristy destinations. Saint-Malo, one of the most visited towns in France by those who do not live in France, was one of these places.  One of these places we were expected to be found and so had been placed.  Don’t get me wrong, I still hold Saint-Malo in my heart as the jewel of my time in France.  It’s the place I would wrap myself in if I could, live in, revisit, talk about.  However, twenty years on it seems like I might have missed out on experiences that would have stood out even more.

1ed242324b8d4ee5520e366dde685ebfWhen I was 28, at the time of the first comments made to this journal, I had not yet figured out how to own the things that make me… me.  I had not embraced the quirks, good and bad, that had always been a part of me.  I had not yet nourished the nerd inside of me that I love so much now.  I was so much of a people pleaser that I routinely changed who I was to be the person I thought the world wanted me to be.  I’m sure I’ll read this entry in ten years and think how immature it seems as well, but I feel so proud to have come so far in my own understanding of myself.  It’s one of those lessons that cannot be taught.  I may have described the city of Saint-Malo in ways that my 28 year old self found nerdy, but I’m glad I did.  I was genuinely elated at being there and I had not learned to deny my joys at that point, not to myself anyway.  That would come later.  16771006274_e68ae8466d_b

If I knew that the only thing I would be able to do on a trip to France would be to stroll through an ancient city on a warm Spring evening and enjoy an ice cream, it would still be totally worth it.

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