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Hydrated

So, making up a bunch of teas to drink everyday is going better than I expected.  I’m already on my 4th one today & I’ve only been making 4 and a half.  I’ve been struggling to drink enough water recently, and even lemonade hasn’t been doing it, so I thought mixing things up would help.  It has.  It’s been taking Justin two days to get through one 32 oz. jar, while I get through eight, plus two 16 oz. jars. 

I actually feel like I’ve been retaining water, but I assume that is because I have been so inconsistent with my water recently.  At some point, I’ll stop holding on to so much of it.

It was a really nice walk, warm.  I left as soon as the Sears technician was finished repairing the dishwasher, so it was not the ideal time.  But even though it’s warmer in the afternoon, I haven’t hated it.  Yesterday’s walk was drizzly at least, but I’ve largely gotten past my inability to exist in the heat.

I’m still afraid to weigh myself.  I think I’m going to wait until 1 November to do a weigh in.  That is time for routines and whatnot to show some results.  We’ll see.  Movement has been going well, but I’m still doing under 1.5 miles per walk, so I need to start ramping up or doing 2 sessions.  That might be more beneficial; I’ll look into it.

I stopped by Five Below to look at exercise equipment yesterday, but I just sort of froze.  I don’t have a clue what I need.  I need someone over my shoulder at all times, reminding me of what to buy and what to do and how long and to stretch.  I did remember to do 10 step ups during my walk; it wasn’t a ton, but at least I got those in.  Again, I just don’t know exactly what I’m aiming for.  Life in the clouds is fun and all, but it comes at a cost!

[Walk #329, 1.28 miles]

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Beaches
Iris Rainer Dart
1985, Fiction, 8/10

The Boardwalk (pp.1-33)
10 September 2025, 8:30am

I’m only three chapters in, and I am trying hard to not compare the book to the film.  I’m finding it difficult to do that.  What I would have loved is just more, and it’s surprising to me.  

We open with Cee Cee in a rehearsal.  

The dancers were holding Cee Cee above their heads. “And now,” she said, “as I lie in the arms of four promiscuous homosexuals from West Hollywood, my tits pointed towards the heavens like an offering to the gods, I slowly turn my head, look out at America and ask the musical question…”

I think this establishes the character beautifully from the start.  I can tell how self-assured and how assertive she is, just from these small bits.  The films softened this moment into a performer who is much more serious, and I think I prefer this choice.

The phone is ringing, and after some time Cee Cee finally gets to it and there is nobody there.  On hearing that the call is from Roberta Barron, she leaves immediately, the director and performers still expecting her to return.

The second chapter features the iconic meeting of Bertie and Cee Cee on the Atlantic City boardwalk.  I was able to form my own characters in my mind based on the descriptions, except for Leona.  Iris Rainer Dart describes Leona so often, referencing her weight especially.  But for me, I can’t get Lainie Kazan off the page.  She is Leona Bloom, and I guess always will be for me.  

The events are sparked by some questionable attention paid to the seven year old Bertie, by her aunt and mother.  The two women are enjoying the sun, their cigarettes, and aren’t worried about the little girl who has lost track of them and ends up meeting 10 year old Cee Cee Bloom, and soon Cee Cee’s mother Leona.  Bertie tags along while Cee Cee goes to an audition, after which she is reunited with her aunt and mother.  One thing I like in the film version that does not happen in the book is how it is established that Bertie (Hilary in the film) comes from money.  There is a scene in the move where the girls get ice cream at the ritzy hotel where they are staying, juxtaposing the upper class lifestyle Bertie comes from.  That is missing in the book, so I never feel as clear on who Bertie’s family is meant to be.  It’s also possible that I missed something from the text. 

I continue to struggle with Leona.  As one of my favorite characters in the film, I’m confused by who she is in the book.  She has all of the determination and attitude I want from her, but she also is described in the way that slim people often talk about fat people—she always seems to have a sandwich in her hand, and everything she does centers around her weight or eating, except of course when it comes to Cee Cee.  I think there could be conversations about weight, but this book wasn’t the one to tackle them.  A more fully formed version of Leona might show her never struggling with her weight, but then dying young from a preventable weight-related issue.  That would at least be commentary.  As it is, Leona is a punchline, but I won’t accept that.  She is raising Cee Cee on her own, she is determined, she doesn’t complain about her own life.  She’s the backbone of the early parts of Cee Cee’s life, so I wish a little more care was taken with her.

The chapters end with letters exchanged, but I’m mildly disappointed that there aren’t more penpal letters between Cee Cee & Bertie, but I’m sure the author didn’t want to make this a four part novel, filled with boring letters.  I would have loved that, but I don’t know if we would have gotten a movie.  One thing that was definitely missing though was dates on the letters.  In a book like this, spanning decades, giving dates to letters helps ground you.  I was annoyed by it, so I flipped through the book and the author has chosen to do that throughout.  I find it a little disorienting, but at least I know to not expect that.

I’m enjoying the book so far.  And while I’m not comparing the book to the film to the best of my ability, the film does give me reference for where the book is and where it is going.  So far, we’ve done the scene of Cee Cee rehearsing her show in Los Angeles and getting the phone call from Bertie; the events from childhood in Atlantic City where the two girls meet and Cee Cee has her audition; Cee Cee getting not he plane to go see Bertie; and I’ve just started the chapter where an 18 or 19 year old Cee Cee has joined John Perry’s company of dancers and singers.Continue Reading

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Strickland Park

Well, today did not go as planned.  It never does!  I went to Glencoe to see if the Brent & the guys he hired had gotten all of the trash, and no.  They did not.  On the way, I got a text from Sonja asking about when the mobile home would be gone and the area cleaned up. 

Her patience is almost certainly wearing thin, and I don’t understand why I am the only one who can deal with this issue.  I called Brent & he contacted the buyer of the mobile home, but I told him he and I had to return next week to get it done.  So, hopefully we can finish.  He wants me to transport OPEN cans of paint in my car because his truck is too precious.  Then rent a trailer.  It’s ridiculous that we are still having these fights.

I needed to decompress, so Justin and I went shopping at Five Below and Dollar Tree, followed by a walk at Strickland Park.  Since I was in Stillwater, I thought it would be nice as I said yesterday, to go walk somewhere in the area.  And it was.  There’s a lot of fun stuff at Strickland, and the trail is walkable, even though the playground dominates the space.  During school hours on a weekday was a great time to go get in my steps.  It made me want to walk all the area parks.  Maybe I will make a checklist and just visit them all!

I talked to Conner on the phone on my way home.  He’s hoping to get out of Stillwater at some point.  I think it is a good idea if that’s what he wants to do!  There’s a world out there and there is no reason to not get out and just enjoy life.  I was so happy to hear his mom had come by to have lunch and do some painting.  It’s been rocky, but I’m glad to see things are in such a good place with her.  Now, if we can just get his dad there as well!

Even with the stress that lingers from Glencoe, I felt pretty good today.  The walk was nice, the pollen was a little lower, the temperature wasn’t so bad.  

[Walk #328, 1.12 miles]

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92ºF

It’s so hot!  I actually thought it seemed okay when I headed out, but while I was walking it was uncomfortably warm and by the time I got home, I was drenched in sweat.  To be fair, I was also working on my pace. 

And it went pretty well: 20’29”/mile.

I’m thinking about going to Stillwater & Glencoe tomorrow, and if I do, I’d like to walk somewhere there that I don’t normally get to walk.  I still can hopefully get in an early morning walk, just in case.  I want to go up there to get some vinca from the old place to plant at my new house.  It isn’t ideal to replant this time of year, but I need to grab some of the vinca before I can’t.  

[Walk #327, 1.38 miles]

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Waiting

I spent all day waiting for the guy to arrive to fix the dishwasher.  He never showed up, but he did call a little after 6 p.m. to say he was an hour and a half away.  I asked him to reschedule me for tomorrow.  I hadn’t gone for a walk all day because I was expecting him any moment, but I did do some jogging in place cardio at home.  It is just not the same.  I’ve been doing that sort of thing all summer, and I have not seen the results that a daily walk can give.  I think it’s just too easy to be lazy and only do just enough.  With a walk, it is so much more often that you reach the exercise goal, but still need to get back home, so you get the extra in naturally.

At home, the notification goes off and I immediately stop.  I could up my goal, but I’ve struggled to even reach it recently.  Walking is just better.  Joining a gym might work as well.  While it would give me the option of just stopping at my goal, having to drive to the location might give me the motivation to do a higher goal that isn’t specifically in my watch, maybe an hour.  I haven’t decided.  The cheapest gym in town is $40 per month, at least that I have found.  Stillwater had multiple $10-15 options, so it seems like a big ask to spend so much.

I asked for a call tomorrow when they are on the way to my house, so I shouldn’t have the same excuse.  I can go on my walk and just be on notice to return to the house when they are on the way.

[no walk]

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I’m Back

Finally!  After excuses and life’s being too busy, I am hopefully back to daily walks.  I had been planning to get back to it anyway, but I was so frustrated this afternoon that I needed to get out of the house for a moment.

Moving to Guthrie seems like the right thing for me, and the new house has been great, but of course this month has only started and there are challenges.  The dishwasher stopped working a few days ago, so I scheduled a repair for that.  Of course, we knew that it was on its last leg during the home inspection.  That’s how I ended up with a home warranty.  Hopefully, they are able to just replace it.  But I guess if they got it working properly, I couldn’t complain that much.  It doesn’t fit properly into the space and I would like that to change.  We’ll see.  Someone should be here tomorrow.  On top of that, there have been other electric issues and currently the hot water is not working.  I suspect it is the electric panel and not the hot water heater, but I just need to have an electrician out to look at it.  I discovered that this morning, and then today during a drive to Glencoe, the fan on the car AC went out.  I’m wondering how many other things could go wrong this week.  

All of that sounds expensive and annoying, so when Justin was doing what Justin does and not really responding, it started to really grate.  I get that his anxiety can cause him to become so overwhelmed that he retreats internally and basically can no longer participate externally.  I do understand that.  However, and a massive however, he thinks things are always fine and doesn’t understand why he should take his medication.  He doesn’t see himself from the outside, so he doesn’t see the problems that it causes.  It’s such a catch-22.  Medicated, he loses some of the personality that makes him so special, but he is able to function better as an adult in his 40s.  And I know that his reluctance is more than that.  There are side effects he doesn’t like, and if he has someone to do everything for him, he can get by not having to be as functioning.  Is that fair?  I worry sometimes that I’m being unfair ABOUT him.  I don’t think I am.  While I do genuinely want the best for him, when you live in a household with others, you participate.  Currently, I have to do everything.  A single task given to Justin can take a few weeks to complete.  He might as well be doing nothing in that case.  And then I feel overwhelmed because I’m having to put this place together myself.  Having just done the majority of the work moving out of Mom & Dad’s house, the shed, and then my own house (including Justin’s stuff), I’m so tired and I still feel like I’m getting no assistance from people involved.  I’m not sure what to do.

That frustration aside, the walk was nice.  I only did 15 minutes.  It was a pretty impromptu walk, so I didn’t really know what routes worked best around this neighborhood.  I can see how I will easily be able to get good walks in as I get back up to 3 miles.  I could easily snake up and down the streets in various ways.  I need to get my walking kit back together, so I have music and a bag and probably a cap.  It was a little sunny and I don’t need a sunburn on my face!  Tomorrow, while I would prefer an early walk, I will have to wait for the repair on the dishwasher to be over.  But I can start going out in the morning on Wednesday.  I was upsetting some dogs who didn’t know me, but after some time they’ll get used to me and it won’t be an issue.  I don’t know if I need treats like I have had before.  That was mostly to befriend rural dogs who are more likely to bite.  The dogs around here are inside fences… mostly.  I think I should be fine without.

[Walk #314, 0.71 miles]

This photo was taken on the trip to Glencoe. I was on the phone during the walk and did not take a photo.