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Oh Yes, More Vacation:
I am going to try really hard to have a good time in Texas. I will be back Tuesday and my birthday is Thursday… 25!!! I hope to be in much better spirits and get more sleep… God, it’s been awful. I am not looking forward to moving Travis tomorrow, but then I can relax with my friends. They always make me feel better faster than anyone else.

Xanga:
Since Travis is moving, I won’t be able to post while I am gone. I don’t know how I will survive. When I get back I will read everyone’s sites — I haven’t done much of that lately. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I love all of you!

Lori:
I know you will have done too much before you stop yourself. I thank you, silly-butt. Keep your fingers crossed for A & Natalie. I will call if they are voted off… it’ll suck that bad! Holly really must goContinue Reading

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Stupidity:
Why do I keep doing this to myself? I told Robby that I have feelings for him, which was moronic! Now, I am sick because I am fully aware that there is no chance of anything happening. He just thinks of me as a friend. I thought that was enough at one point. I hate feeling like this. Blah. Somewhere there is somebody who will like me… I hope. People tell me that, but it is hard to believe it when I have never met anyone as interested in me as I am in them. I wish Robby wanted me.

Quote:
“You think that I’m strong. You’re wrong…” — Robbie Williams

Life:
It is just pretty crappy sometimes… this being one of those times. Unfortunately, I can’t escape it this time — the problem is me.

One and a Half Dead Bunnies:
It was fitting that this should be what I discovered on my porch today. I have no idea what got into Molly (my cat), but she was on some sort of killing spree today. I hate it sometimes, but it comes with having cats…

Robby:
I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I was so sick about him at Lori’s that I had to go in the other room and cry a number of times. And I just do not have that right. We are friends and I should be happy for him. Easier said, blah blah blah… Seriously, I bring way more drama than necessary to the table. I am a mess sometimes. (sorry about the drama, Robby…) I am not sure how to be less insane… it just feels wrong. And I really hate being this way! Blah. I almost called off my trip to Texas, but I shouldn’t be upset! I am really trying.Continue Reading

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Robby:
Maybe it was stupid, but I told him how I felt. I guess I should always keep my mouth open just in case I need to stick my foot in there!

God:
I want to thank everyone for the comments. In particular I would like to thank confess_or_explode for the opposing point of view. I do not claim to know everything, but I do know that it is important to respect the opinions of others. His was so well thought out… he is an amazing person. No offense intended whatsoever to him, but I think it just a little sad that people have to feel bad for who they are. For me and my belief (only), the notion of it’s okay to be, but not to act is horrible. It seems to tell someone that they can never be complete. I’d prefer not to upset anyone, least of all him, so I will just stop here. I do send him much love. God bless you all!Continue Reading

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Mom:
I just received an e-mail from my mom about living with your sins. While the point will not be lost, I will not be applying it to being gay. I just can’t since I don’t believe that this is wrong. She is trying though and I sent a very lengthy e-mail explaining how I feel about several issues, including my position on gays and Christianity and how I feel less loved than my straight brothers. It was kinda crazy, but oh well.

pathetic.org
I posted quite a bit on my poetry site last night! I am excited to be a part of it again.

Self:
I am officially lonely again. I just want someone to share my life with…

Robby:
He had been busy and I am neurotic!

Family:
E-mail I sent to my mom. Her response follows.

From: fuchsboi@***.net
Subject: Mom… a few thingsContinue Reading

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Yesterday:
Okay, I seriously have no idea what my problem was yesterday. I was just so… blah. Today is better. Today I feel normal. It is so good to not feel so bad.

Work:
I am really trying to stay out of the crap going on at work, but it is too much sometimes. It is constant with people not doing any work, being completely inappropriate, and oblivious to the fact that they need to start shaping up. I want it to be over now. However, I do not feel that I am hurting the situation by staying out of it. I am sorry to anyone who feels that way. I understand what they mean, but the only way for me to help my own situation is to do what I feel is right and not be pressured to get involved.

Family:
My mom is back from North Carolina. I am so excited, even though I won’t be able to see her for a while still. Ugh. I am just thrilled that I don’t have to hide who I am in my parents’ house anymore. I think just that will take care of a lot of tension and distance that has been between my parents and me. I also know that it will be hard, because although Mom wants to understand being gay, she doesn’t currently understand. It will be a very rewarding part of my life.

Vacation:
I am greatly anticipating my next block of vacation, which starts next week. I can’t wait to see Robby & Jim. I am really looking forward to getting away again. And when I return, I only work one day and then I am off for my birthday!!! Yay! I will be 25. I am not really sure if I am comfortable with that, but I really have no choice. I don’t so much mind getting older, but I do mind not being young any longer. Does that make sense?Continue Reading

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Cleaning:
How lazy of me! Lori is bagging trash as I write this and I am still sitting here. Blah! It’s hot, I’m tired, and work basically sucks. Whatever.Continue Reading

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Vacation:
Fifty freakin’ bucks later, we have pictures!!! I will post less flattering pictures later. There are some great ones of my neice, KC, that I’ll post too!

Family:
Bradley stopped by the store today. He wanted to come by later, but didn’t tell me that at the time. I feel kinda bad for not being patient with him, but I hadn’t even seen him for three months. The least he could do is stop by. He works here in Tulsa!!Continue Reading