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The week started out very hot.  I actually lost a rose bush to the heat; it had been struggling to grow anyway, so I’m not terribly surprised.  I was still not feeling great part of the week, so it felt a little like I was getting back to life in slow motion.  I did manage to get the lawn mowed, which was more exciting than it should have been, and cut down one small tree.  Other than that, my only real efforts in my garden were pruning and deadheading.  Oh, and lamenting the loss of that rose.  I was looking forward to that one, but the heat was even stressing some of the crapemyrtles, and they can handle heat pretty well.  We had a storm come through last night and that pretty much took the worst of the heat with it.  We can enjoy a couple of cooler days now.  I have not seen most of the youngest kittens for a couple of days, which is a worry.  Sometimes they do disappear for a few, but I’m worried that they didn’t make it.  The property is so large and wooded, and the cats all spend time exploring, that I might never really know what happened unless they show back up on the porch.

Dad’s birthday was Friday and we all had dinner made by Conner, which was nice.  We also had a variety of cakes, including one failure by me and Justin.  I don’t know why it just wasn’t working, but my third attempt was good.  It actually stayed at home because it was too hot to take.  At least I know I can make a cake, even if it took me three tries!

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Blackjack Oak

Quercus marilandica ashei

Just outside my bedroom window is a rugged Blackjack Oak.  She isn’t fancy or flashy; neither is she demanding.  She takes care of herself and has a pioneering look about her.

When my parents moved to this property in 2006, most of the native trees were cleared from the areas where they would be living, being replaced with more pleasing fruit trees, crapemyrtles, and one Bradford pear.  Along with a few other trees, they did leave one small oak tree.  That tree offered a shaded spot to sit and enjoy the property, while being a fairly compact plant.  It has not stayed that way.

I moved into this place in 2015.  At that time, the once diminutive oak had become a little more of a presence.  The branches had arched and reached the house, occasionally scraping against the siding.  Ultimately it needed to be trimmed a little, but it’s increased size had created even more of a shaded area, some of its lower branches now no longer putting on leaves.  She had started looking a little bit raggedy.  It made me wonder about how long lived blackjack oaks are, worrying that she had only a limited time left and that I would need to think about  what to do when a replacement or removal was needed.

Blackjack oaks are a type of red oak common from New Jersey to Eastern Kansas and as far south as Georgia and Central Texas.  They are small and hardy trees, happily growing is poor soils and dry areas.  They don’t represent the prettiest of trees, consisting of crooked and twisted branches, many of which stop putting on leaves when those above them block the light.  It gives them a distinctive half-dead appearance that my oak now suffers from, but it does not indicate any sort of problem with the tree itself.  It does have a tendency to droop the leafless branches, making it hard to walk under and requiring annual pruning, but it’s a manageable problem.

These trees are slower growing, but longer lived oaks, especially the western subspecies in Northern Texas, Oklahoma, and Kansas.  These individuals make up a significant percentage of The Cross Timbers, the oak savannah that bisects Oklahoma, separating the heavily wooded East from the arid West.  It’s a forest made up of post oaks, blackjack oaks, and eastern redcedars.  Blackjack oaks can live for more than 200 years, averaging about 80 years.  My fears of needing to replace my tree are unfounded.

No, this isn’t the world’s most beautiful tree.  It’s leaves even feel like they haven’t fully formed, as if they can quite figure out how to evolve into something clear.  The acorns are tiny, barely worth talking about.  The limbs are crooked and bare, at least the lower ones.  They don’t have the lush growth of most of the other trees that surround the house.  However, the tree is home to many birds and those tiny acorns are enjoyed by squirrels and even brazen deer who venture up to the house to graze on them along with the crabapples that grow next to the oak.  And it provides much of my house with shade, having expanded from a shady spot in the center of the yard to a defining feature of the property.

This tree has its issues, but I love her and I’m glad she’s here.

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Well folks, I had high hopes for FLAMINGO WEEK.  Sadly, I was sick for much of it, and the beginning of the week involved an unexpected trip to Edmond and then a day of getting a new tire.  So, I just got a little behind what I had meant to accomplish, including blog posts I had wanted to do… this is why I try to get them done in advance.  That is fine though.  It was more a day of flamingo art than anything, and my Tumblr enjoyed a strong infusion of flamingo images for the week.

Since I’ve been under the weather, I have intentionally done nothing all week.  I have a habit of doing too much and prolonging my illnesses, and I didn’t want to do that this time.  So, I slept and drank fluids.  And sulked a little.  But the worst of it came and went quickly, and I’m really excited to get moving on a few projects I’ve been working toward.

I have some collages I have been working on, which I hope I can make more progress on soon.  I also have been working on a new series for this blog, and I certainly hope people like it.  I should have that going in the next day or two.

Dad’s birthday is Friday, and I’m not sure what exactly to do for him.  I had intended to order a gift, but failed to do that!  I’ll figure it out.  Maybe he’d like to go out to eat someplace.  I just don’t know.

I have several things to work on this week.  It was over 100º this week, so the 90º feel like a break.  I need to finish up planning for my Sunshine Garden (which I will do a post on with details soon), and continue picking up debris in the driveway.  I’m not up to the collapsed burn barrel, which is just a mess to try and clean up.  Once I get past that mess, then I am into large items to deal with.  Most of those things are now trash, but some of the things are worth saving and I need to figure out where to put those things.

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I do not know where this week has gone!  I got more cleanup of my yard done, but this is a lot of land here and I really need everyone pitching in to make sure things can get done.  I probably should’ve taken pictures to show my progress, but I’m feeling really positive about it.

I feel like my “Sunshine Garden,” as I’ve taken to calling it, is coming together nicely.  It’s going to be a little bit conceptual, but the plants I’ve picked out are nice.  I need to plant the junipers this week & then probably mark out the areas for trees arriving this fall.  Smaller plants will be in next Spring, but I am working toward getting that area the way I have it in my head.

Saturday was Justin’s birthday.  It was a quiet and uneventful day at his request, although he did end up mowing in the evening.  Justin is a good friend and I know everyone takes him for granted.  I’m blessed to have such a nice person in my life.  (These photos are from 2 years ago)

Avery spent part of the week out here, which was nice.  She’s so easy-natured and doesn’t get bent out of shape about things.

I’ve got so many things to get done; the yardwork seems endless, but this upcoming week is going to be pretty hot, so I’ll be only working outside until about 10 everyday.  That should give me time to work on some of the other things I’ve got going on — art and whatnot.

I’ve continued being obsessed with gardening.  I’ve been watching a lot of several YouTube channels on gardening.  While I never see anything exactly like what I would like to do, it is so nice to see so many ideas and tips from people who have been doing this for a long time.

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We had a hot week, which is pretty typical.  I wish I’d gotten more accomplished, but everything was feeling difficult.  So many of my days anymore are like that.

It seems like gardening is the way I’m dealing with things.  I’ve mentioned it, but it just keeps coming up.  I’m surprised, but maybe shouldn’t be really.  It was my grandpa’s death that first got me interested in growing plants.  I became briefly obsessed with houseplants.  I was living in an apartment at the time, so I couldn’t go crazy with plants of my own, but that turned into an attempt at a vegetable garden the following Spring and planting some roses for Mom in the summer.  But that was a terrible summer for growing anything and it was really discouraging.  I decided not to try again.  When Dale Combs, the man who I was named after, passed away, I was drawn to go sit and think beneath some beautiful big trees and to spend time in a wooded park.  It felt natural to be surrounded by nature.  Mary Combs passed in 2017, and once again I felt drawn to nature and natural things.  It was Winter, but I wanted to be outside.

If spent my Summer so far wanting to be outside as much as possible.  I have been incredibly worried about what I should be doing, about my health, and about my future.  Some days I feel like I’m going to explode, but being in my yard seems to be helping.  I’ve babied my roses, planned for new beds, created a new bed, and generally enjoyed being in my garden.  I even enjoy it when it’s too hot.  It just feels right, and I guess that’s okay.  I don’t want to spin out of control too much, but I do want to just keep getting things done.  It just feels right.

I’m sadder now than I ever have been, but I’m feeling tired of being tired.  I’m tired of crying and tired of sleeping.  I feel sadder than I ever imagined a person could feel, and I also feel calmer than I would have expected.  I just want to sit quietly in a beautiful garden and not stress out about things.  Of course, I have to create the garden I want, but it just feels right, and I’m going to try to let myself be.

One of the things I’m doing later this year is to get a bunch of people a flowering tree to plant in Mom’s memory.  I got my trees ordered this week, and they will arrive around Thanksgiving.  It’ll be a nice time to plant.  I hope that goes down well for everyone.

I don’t know what will happen next week.  I feel lost today, but I hope each day surprises me by being better than I expected.

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Planting season is pretty much over for most of us, and now we enjoy the gardens we put together for the summer.  I have been giving some thought to which steps to take next on my landscape plan.  I’ll definitely want to plant trees and bulbs in the fall, and I want to start thinking about specific varieties of anything I might want for Spring 2019.  I like having a plan.  While I’ve been looking this year, I’ve kept thinking about how fun it would be to have a themed flowerbed or garden.

I worry about America’s future at the moment.  I love this country, and it seems like those who do not are successfully usurping authority and trying to reshape this into an authoritarian country.  So, I feel compelled to wax nostalgic about my love of this country in various ways.  So, in that spirit, here are some suggestions for a patriotic flowerbed.

Go easy on the decor and ornaments.  A few things are good, but you don’t need flags & pinwheels & bows covering everything.  Just try some accents.  What I love about the wood flag is that it allows the flowers to do the work, while still giving that Americana vibe.  One garden gnome, a bird house, a few stepping stones, or even an eagle for your porch is enough to convey the idea without beating the theme to death.

Here are some plant suggestions.  I’ve tried to include things that allow for color throughout the year, and obviously not all plants work in all places.  These are just my own suggestions.

Not into the red, white, & blue color scheme?  Try creating a First Lady Rose garden.  Here are some of my favorites:

Adding a military gnome or classic monument can help personalize the garden.  A Statue of Liberty or Mt Rushmore souvenir added to the right spot in a garden would be fun.

Here are some more America themed flowers that I love

Ambitious indoor gardeners might even want to try a First Lady Orchid or two.  Here are two I really like

Want to do something fun, but you already have a garden, why not paint some stars on the lawn for the summer.  Use building site spray paints.  As the grass grows and is mowed, they will disappear, but they will be fun for the 4th of July, Memorial Day, or for an event.

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This is been an interesting week.  I’ve been able to think about what it means to be proud, as LGBT Pride Month draws to a close.  What is it about being a gay person that is worthy of pride.  So many non-LGBT folks misunderstand the whole issue.  Pride is not just about loving who you are.  That is certainly important, and factors greatly into the concept of gay pride.  The other element is loving who you are in spite of the oppression of society at large.  It’s about saying that being authentic is more important than letting society’s negative messages dictate the aspects of one’s life.  Straight people don’t have to think about it in the same terms.  And now I’ve opened up a can or worms.

Oppression.  It’s hard to explain this concept to those who don’t have to deal with it.  I did not choose to be gay.  It hardly bothers me, but it wasn’t like I was offered options when I was born.  I am what I have always been.  That said, the fact that I am gay factors into so many of the decisions I’ve had to make in my life.  Things have changed in recent years, but I still couldn’t just plan a vacation to anywhere on earth I wanted to go.  I’d need to research and find out how hostile a country is to the LGBT community before doing so, otherwise I could find myself in a situation.  I have to consider carefully which jobs to apply for, as it is still legal in most places (Oklahoma included) to fire a person for being gay.  I have kept my distance from the church I grew up in, and where I would still attend.  I don’t want to make other people uncomfortable, and they would.  When I read a magazine or watch TV commercials, the message is always that straight people can show their affection in public and gay people cannot.  Well, 99.9% of the time, and even then only in places that are safe for the message.  If it ever came up, I currently have the right to marry the person I love, but that is a very new thing.  And it’s another place where people misunderstand how rights work.  I don’t understand what people mean when they say that gay people being given the same right to marry as straight people is giving us “more rights.”  It’s really just the same, and the idea that I always had the right to marry as long as I married a woman is dismissive and ridiculous.   I would love to raise children, but it can be hard to find a place to adopt children as a gay person.  Some ignorant people think it matters, or that gay people cannot have the values necessary to raise children.  That’s just misinformation used to prevent children in need from receiving the homes they need.  And now we are starting to see government-sanctioned discrimination, specifically those who offer goods or services to the public being allowed to exclude gay people for simply being gay.  There are multiple issues I have with this whole thing.  First, if you offer things to the public, you don’t get the right to pick and choose your customer.  These people denying cakes to gay couples aren’t likely asking their other customers questions to determine if their beliefs line up.  And that makes the whole thing arbitrary.  If a company want to only bake cakes for Baptist weddings, or for Catholic weddings, that would be a business model that allowed for an exclusive clientele and would not be discriminatory.  My other big issue with these “religious freedom” people is that refusing to do business with gay people actually negates their argument.  Jesus did not say to love your neighbor, except that one over there.  He did not say be in the world, not of the world, unless you see a gay guy and then don’t even be in the world.  If you are saying that serving those you don’t understand goes against your beliefs, then I don’t understand what beliefs you are even trying to defend.  It’s not Christianity.  It seems that there is a new ‘Murica religion, based on the idea that if you are not white, straight, and wrapped in an American flag, you are the enemy.  It’s a cult, not a religion.  Straight people don’t have to deal with things like this, specifically straight white people.  And when I hear people talk about “Straight Pride Month” or things of that nature I get frustrated.  Every month is “Straight Pride Month,” and y’all don’t have to fight for dignity.

And so it is sometimes hard to keep my head up as a gay person.  The world sometimes comes for us, and being proud is about saying “not today Satan.”  It’s about showing that what other people think of us is not our problem, and it is about expressing our true selves.  Because if we stop fighting and stop showing that we exist, we will be slowly asked to get back into the box and hidden away again.  Things have been getting better for a while now, and I hope that these recent slips backward are just a blip, but we have a long way to go.

In other news, I got the new part of the flowerbed mulched.  It’s looking good.  I will eventually need to add edging of some sort.  I don’t really know what I want there.  The crapemyrltes I planted have started showing new growth, and the roses are continuing to do well.. mostly.  The JFK & Copper roses did not make it this year, and I’ll just take that as an opportunity for new roses next Spring.  I’d love to find a Herbert Hoover or a Mark Twain, or maybe even a Mme. Alfred Carrière climbing rose.  I did get a couple of arborvitae, which I had intend to not plant until fall, but they were a good price and I don’t mind keeping a close eye on a couple for the summer.

I’ve started feeling more like getting back to the business of living my life.  It’s remained a challenge for me, but I’m trying.  Just staring off into the distance doesn’t solve anything.

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