I’m Back
Finally! After excuses and life’s being too busy, I am hopefully back to daily walks. I had been planning to get back to it anyway, but I was so frustrated this afternoon that I needed to get out of the house for a moment.
Moving to Guthrie seems like the right thing for me, and the new house has been great, but of course this month has only started and there are challenges. The dishwasher stopped working a few days ago, so I scheduled a repair for that. Of course, we knew that it was on its last leg during the home inspection. That’s how I ended up with a home warranty. Hopefully, they are able to just replace it. But I guess if they got it working properly, I couldn’t complain that much. It doesn’t fit properly into the space and I would like that to change. We’ll see. Someone should be here tomorrow. On top of that, there have been other electric issues and currently the hot water is not working. I suspect it is the electric panel and not the hot water heater, but I just need to have an electrician out to look at it. I discovered that this morning, and then today during a drive to Glencoe, the fan on the car AC went out. I’m wondering how many other things could go wrong this week.
All of that sounds expensive and annoying, so when Justin was doing what Justin does and not really responding, it started to really grate. I get that his anxiety can cause him to become so overwhelmed that he retreats internally and basically can no longer participate externally. I do understand that. However, and a massive however, he thinks things are always fine and doesn’t understand why he should take his medication. He doesn’t see himself from the outside, so he doesn’t see the problems that it causes. It’s such a catch-22. Medicated, he loses some of the personality that makes him so special, but he is able to function better as an adult in his 40s. And I know that his reluctance is more than that. There are side effects he doesn’t like, and if he has someone to do everything for him, he can get by not having to be as functioning. Is that fair? I worry sometimes that I’m being unfair ABOUT him. I don’t think I am. While I do genuinely want the best for him, when you live in a household with others, you participate. Currently, I have to do everything. A single task given to Justin can take a few weeks to complete. He might as well be doing nothing in that case. And then I feel overwhelmed because I’m having to put this place together myself. Having just done the majority of the work moving out of Mom & Dad’s house, the shed, and then my own house (including Justin’s stuff), I’m so tired and I still feel like I’m getting no assistance from people involved. I’m not sure what to do.
That frustration aside, the walk was nice. I only did 15 minutes. It was a pretty impromptu walk, so I didn’t really know what routes worked best around this neighborhood. I can see how I will easily be able to get good walks in as I get back up to 3 miles. I could easily snake up and down the streets in various ways. I need to get my walking kit back together, so I have music and a bag and probably a cap. It was a little sunny and I don’t need a sunburn on my face! Tomorrow, while I would prefer an early walk, I will have to wait for the repair on the dishwasher to be over. But I can start going out in the morning on Wednesday. I was upsetting some dogs who didn’t know me, but after some time they’ll get used to me and it won’t be an issue. I don’t know if I need treats like I have had before. That was mostly to befriend rural dogs who are more likely to bite. The dogs around here are inside fences… mostly. I think I should be fine without.
[Walk #314, 0.71 miles]