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Brrr…

Today felt warm, which bothered me. It was only 19°. It has been very cold. My fingers feel numb after running to my car & back inside most mornings and the wind has just brought more arctic air than I remember from all of last winter. The gale blows through the small spaces in my north facing door, making it nearly impossible to keep my places warm. It seems too big now, vaulted ceilings no longer holding the aethetic they did over the summer. During those warmer days, I would open up windows throughout the house and enjoy the 65° air gently moving through. Nature was welcome into my home. It has overstayed.

I purchased two space heaters — an attempt to keep the temperature up, as the floor radiators just aren’t enough. It is working out fine, but I am told that my place is still too cold and my friends don’t take their coats off, leaving after only a few minutes. They don’t want to be here. Under those conditions, neither do I. I have acclimated to this environment and rarely feel chilly anymore, but a home without visitors is depressing. I think I should like to find a new place next summer, before the mercury drops. I think I am stuck for now though. Not only do I feel an obligation to my family (my aunt & uncle own my duplex), but I promised myself last year to not move during the winter again.

Wall To Wall Sadness:

Jess leaves for Arizona on Monday. I had promised her not to blog about her, but I want the world to know that I will miss her. I will miss her opinions. I will miss her “rawr!” I will miss her NBC peacock t-shirt. I will miss her advice, even when I don’t want it. I will miss her red hair. I will miss her dancing. I will miss our secret long-nosed greeting. I will miss her bitterness. I will miss her caring. I will miss her coaxing me to do things when I don’t know I really want to do things. I will miss her advice when I really need it. I will miss her laugh. I will miss her ruminating. I will miss her concern for Heather. I will miss her point, pause, “yes.” I will miss her long skirts. I will miss her beautiful face. I will miss the way she knows how utterly important she is. Jess, I love you and will miss you.Continue Reading

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We’re Off To See The Blizzard

I ended my trip home by spending a few hours with Becky. I loved seeing her and was glad to finally reconnect. It had been far too long since we’d had a chance to hang out. I wish I could be around her all the time. She is so much fun.

The rest of Sunday was spent on a plane. 9 hours in the same seat… it isn’t fun. I was seated next to a woman who just loved to talk and I tried to not accidentally indicate that I may want to talk to her. It was a largely successful effort and I was able to spend my trip in silence. I did read My Fine Feathered Friend, which I had purchased in Stillwater for 20¢. I enjoyed it and was glad I didn’t pay cover price for it. I will most likely read it again and again, but it was too short.

When I arrived in Anchorage, it was very late… after midnight. Heather had arrived early to pick me up at 11:30, when the plane was suppose to land. I felt bad that she had to wait, but I couldn’t have known ahead of time. She helped me get my stuff into her car. I detected a bit of congestion starting, but I assumed it was a symptom of being on the plane for as long as I was. On the short drive home, I enjoyed the view of the week-old blanket of snow covering the city. It was January cold, but I felt warm to be at home.

How strange, I remarked, that this place feels like home. Heather agreed. She helped get my stuff into the house and hung out for a little bit. We both decided it was time for bed and she left. I was scheduled to be at work at 6:00 a.m.

a sick body is a prison

I woke up Monday morning very early. It was 5:00 and I couldn’t talk. I could barely breathe. The tickle from the night before was now a full-blown illness. I debated a little, waited until 6:00, & called the store. Work was not going to happen… not until I had a little medicine. I pretty much felt crappy all day. I missed the luncheon for Grant, which sucks. I missed work and getting payroll done correctly, which I am just now paying for.

I returned to work on Tuesday. I didn’t quite feel 100%, but wasn’t quite sick either. Tuesday was great, Wednesday was good. I was sleeping a lot, which was expected. I hadn’t had to do anything for 2 weeks. Thursday hit me like a ton of bricks. I was completely congested again. My head hurt and I could barely think correctly. I spent the entire day at work trying to stay motivated and awake. As soon as I got home, I crashed.

After a few hours I woke up, still feeling like poo and lethargic. I showered, which helped a bit. Heather called at 9:00 p.m. about the movie plans. I had totally forgotten, but agreed to go. I was a bit cranky. The movie, The Film Is Not Yet Rated, was amazing. Shocking, really. I recommend it.

Today, Friday, has been just as bad. I feel horrible. I did get to the store for some DayQuil & NyQuil. I hope they help. I can’t miss work… I have too much to do.

Okay, I will stop complaining now. 😉

I love snow.Continue Reading

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My Legs Strike Again:
Saturday, while I was working, I began having pain in my legs. It eventually got to the point that I couldn’t really walk and I was forced to sit for a couple of hours at my desk doing work that, while needed to be done, was not as much fun as working on the floor on a Saturday afternoon. It was a little better for the last 15 minutes of my shift when I returned to the floor. Having taken pain reliever (which I never do), I was tired and went home to sleep off whatever the problem was.

Jess called and woke me up after a while and we went searching for Heather & Jake. We didn’t find them and ended up at The Raven, a neighborhood gay bar, unfortunately known for drugs. I was in the mood for a bit of filth. I actually enjoyed myself, as it was quiet and practically empty. We talked and left messages on Heather’s machine.

Finally, we ended up at Heather’s, where we ordered pizza and watched Wayne’s World 2 (of all things). It was a great time and a lot of skin was exposed! Jess’ underwear was exposed — and bills were inserted into the sides. Jake bore his chest and pressed it against the window to the porch in a random moment of exhibitionism. It was fun and made me very happy to be here in Alaska with people I enjoy.

Sunday morning, I woke up in pain. My legs had not only gotten worse, but my entire body was sore. It was weird, like a burning sensation just under the skin, but not muscle. I called out and slept all day. I didn’t feel like standing up until 6:00 a.m. Monday morning. By that time, the pain was gone. Nearly as quickly as it had started, it was gone.

Del Marquis:
I was thrilled to discover music by Del on his MySpace account. He is awesome and it was great to hear his music independantly of Scissor Sisters. Don’t get me wrong, SS still makes me tear up, but it was nice to hear the difference.

Pier 1:
I know it will get better, but I am still plagued with longing for David. It is just something to get over, I guess. I wish him well and I know that this was not about me. I am such a fantastic person that anyone would be lucky to have me.Continue Reading