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The George Oppen Memorial BBQ
A Poem
Eric Tyler Benick
2019, Poetry

⭐︎🟡⭐︎🟡⭐︎🟡⭐︎🟡⭐︎🟡⭐︎🟡⭐︎

26 September 2025, 7:39 am

My least favorite of my traits is how often I second guess myself.  I don’t allow my instincts to be correct.  It’s always a mistake and one that I suppose I will never allow myself to internalize.  I want to do better; I want to create in the ways that I create naturally, freely, thoughtlessly.

This poem is a reminder to freely open and let the words flow on their own.

I fell in love with the Eric Tyler Benick in the interview that follows the poem.  He writes the way I write.  He is inspired in the ways I am inspired.  He makes me want to be.  I wasn’t familiar with all of his references, but the joy I found in the work has encouraged me to look up George Oppen and add him to my reading list.  I’m very excited about it.

There is always space / in a poem for love / when it is exact.

I really appreciate when a book makes me want to be a better writer. This poem is gold, but even better part of this book is his answers to the interview questions at the back. The author makes me want to try harder, to be more confident in my own words, to continue to peel back and expose the content of my mind.

⭐︎🟡⭐︎🟡⭐︎🟡⭐︎🟡⭐︎🟡⭐︎🟡⭐︎

Started Reading: 26 SEP 2025
Finished Reading: 26 SEP 2025Continue Reading

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Beaches
Iris Rainer Dart
1985, Fiction, 8/10

The Boardwalk (pp.1-33)
10 September 2025, 8:30am

I’m only three chapters in, and I am trying hard to not compare the book to the film.  I’m finding it difficult to do that.  What I would have loved is just more, and it’s surprising to me.  

We open with Cee Cee in a rehearsal.  

The dancers were holding Cee Cee above their heads. “And now,” she said, “as I lie in the arms of four promiscuous homosexuals from West Hollywood, my tits pointed towards the heavens like an offering to the gods, I slowly turn my head, look out at America and ask the musical question…”

I think this establishes the character beautifully from the start.  I can tell how self-assured and how assertive she is, just from these small bits.  The films softened this moment into a performer who is much more serious, and I think I prefer this choice.

The phone is ringing, and after some time Cee Cee finally gets to it and there is nobody there.  On hearing that the call is from Roberta Barron, she leaves immediately, the director and performers still expecting her to return.

The second chapter features the iconic meeting of Bertie and Cee Cee on the Atlantic City boardwalk.  I was able to form my own characters in my mind based on the descriptions, except for Leona.  Iris Rainer Dart describes Leona so often, referencing her weight especially.  But for me, I can’t get Lainie Kazan off the page.  She is Leona Bloom, and I guess always will be for me.  

The events are sparked by some questionable attention paid to the seven year old Bertie, by her aunt and mother.  The two women are enjoying the sun, their cigarettes, and aren’t worried about the little girl who has lost track of them and ends up meeting 10 year old Cee Cee Bloom, and soon Cee Cee’s mother Leona.  Bertie tags along while Cee Cee goes to an audition, after which she is reunited with her aunt and mother.  One thing I like in the film version that does not happen in the book is how it is established that Bertie (Hilary in the film) comes from money.  There is a scene in the move where the girls get ice cream at the ritzy hotel where they are staying, juxtaposing the upper class lifestyle Bertie comes from.  That is missing in the book, so I never feel as clear on who Bertie’s family is meant to be.  It’s also possible that I missed something from the text. 

I continue to struggle with Leona.  As one of my favorite characters in the film, I’m confused by who she is in the book.  She has all of the determination and attitude I want from her, but she also is described in the way that slim people often talk about fat people—she always seems to have a sandwich in her hand, and everything she does centers around her weight or eating, except of course when it comes to Cee Cee.  I think there could be conversations about weight, but this book wasn’t the one to tackle them.  A more fully formed version of Leona might show her never struggling with her weight, but then dying young from a preventable weight-related issue.  That would at least be commentary.  As it is, Leona is a punchline, but I won’t accept that.  She is raising Cee Cee on her own, she is determined, she doesn’t complain about her own life.  She’s the backbone of the early parts of Cee Cee’s life, so I wish a little more care was taken with her.

The chapters end with letters exchanged, but I’m mildly disappointed that there aren’t more penpal letters between Cee Cee & Bertie, but I’m sure the author didn’t want to make this a four part novel, filled with boring letters.  I would have loved that, but I don’t know if we would have gotten a movie.  One thing that was definitely missing though was dates on the letters.  In a book like this, spanning decades, giving dates to letters helps ground you.  I was annoyed by it, so I flipped through the book and the author has chosen to do that throughout.  I find it a little disorienting, but at least I know to not expect that.

I’m enjoying the book so far.  And while I’m not comparing the book to the film to the best of my ability, the film does give me reference for where the book is and where it is going.  So far, we’ve done the scene of Cee Cee rehearsing her show in Los Angeles and getting the phone call from Bertie; the events from childhood in Atlantic City where the two girls meet and Cee Cee has her audition; Cee Cee getting not he plane to go see Bertie; and I’ve just started the chapter where an 18 or 19 year old Cee Cee has joined John Perry’s company of dancers and singers.Continue Reading

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In a lot of ways, it feels like things are starting to make sense for me.  And it a lot of other ways, it feels like things are as chaotic as always.  Everyone seems just a little frustrated, but I’m not sure most of them can articulate why.  I know I can’t.

I finished Okie Dokie last month, and I have done a couple of edits to it since.  I hope I’m at a point where I can leave it alone now.  My copies come in the mail Saturday, and I’ll really know then.  I’m both excited and terrified to have my writing available for others.  That was always the goal, but I’m just so nervous about these things.  I hope others can appreciate my point of view and I’m looking forward to getting feedback, even if that feedback is negative.  Constructive criticism is always welcome.  I actually just assume that if someone doesn’t like something I’ve written, then that is just a preference they have and does not reflect on my writing in any real way.  If the consensus is negative, then I’m just writing the wrong things for current audiences.  I will have to wait and see.  The really difficult thing will be critiques by those I admire or grammatical errors pointed out by those I don’t.

I’ve started working on my next book, which will be similar to Okie Dokie in that it will contain selections of poetry from the past twenty years, as well as a few new poems to pull the book together.  I’ll have one or two more like that before relegating unpublished poetry to a “remnants” book of some sort in the future.  I have some things I’ve written that I really love, but I’m not sure how to make them work in any of these projects.  I do want a story to emerge from the collection, even if only loosely.  Okie Dokie was about myself and about how I see the world around me.  The second book will be about family and the places from which they came.  The third book is about friendship and love.  If I need fourth or fifth, I’ll do another about myself and then a last one about family, as those are the two subjects I’ve written the most about.  I’m also not limiting my writing.  I have other things I want to write and those things will fall into the projects that make the most sense for them.

For October, I’m enjoying some spooky stories and songs throughout the month, and I am of course bothering family with those things.  I miss sharing things with people.  I find everyone becoming increasingly isolated, and not just in my own family.  I’ll post some of those things on here during the month.

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It’s finally out.  And I can finally get some sleep!  Here are the links to my book on Amazon.  I think it looks so much better in paperback, but there is a Kindle version available.

Amazon Paperback

Amazon Kindle

If you don’t already know what’s up, here’s a little backstory.  I’ve been writing since I was a child.  My first poem that I remember was written in October 1988 when I was 9 years old.  When I was 12, my teacher accused me of plagiarism because she didn’t think a child could write.  I don’t say that to congratulate myself at all.  I’m not even sure if that was worth all the aggravation.  It has been lost to time.  It was titled Paige and it was about the life of a woman who never finds happiness.  But I imagine the actual poem would seem completely juvenile now.

I started writing in earnest in college and since 1997 I have written consistently.  While I veer off into other projects, like short stories or novels, I find poetry that I always return to poetry and enjoy writing it.  Over the years, I’ve developed my own style.  That is a good thing.  The problem is that I also haven’t had serious critique of my work since I graduated from college, so I don’t actually know how my work is seen by others.  I’m amazed that I’ve managed to spend the better part of 20 years unwilling to share my work for fear of rejection.  And I really should have managed that sooner!

When I lost Mom last year, the first thing I did was crawled into a metaphorical hole for 9 months.  I wanted to disappear because I didn’t understand how one can live without his mama, and I’m not too proud to say it.  It also brought a few things into focus.  One of those things was letting go of the expectations and opinions of others.  Now, I mean of me as a person, not my work.  That is a lesson that has been taught to me my entire life, but sometimes things need to cook for a while.

So, now I’ve got a book.  I worked diligently over the summer to get it done.  My garden is sad and neglected, my roommate is sad and neglected, and my family… well, they are too busy to have noticed, but if they had I imagine they would feel sad and neglected.  For this first collection of poems (because I don’t want it to be the last!), I wanted to focus on a few things: 1. Poems with very specific references to people.  It’s not that I won’t write that way in the future, but I wanted to give people the words I had written for them before getting into other subjects.  2. Epitaphs.  I’ve lost a lot of people and I often have things to say about that.  I’d like to get through a lot of those I’ve had lying around, but there are many more.  3. My very favorite poems I’ve written… that aren’t too scandalous.  I get it, family will buy this first book. They will even hang on for a second, but by the third they won’t be too fussed about it.  So, I have actually created a plan where my third book is where I completely let my hair down.  That does mean I have to do at least 2 more books, but it also sounds like I’m censoring myself.  In a way I am, but I’m not completely either.  I want my prudish great aunt to be able to have something she will never read, but that won’t make her blush too much if she decides to open it up.

Last thing I will say about it, I decided to make notes on each poem.  Rather than include them in the actual printed book, they can be found here… in the writing tab, or at this link.Continue Reading

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I’ve been doing a lot of both lately. I’m currently working on a number of stories. I hope they work towards something great. Thoughts and suggestions greatly appreciated. Ask me for more details. I’ve also located my journal from my trip to France in 1996. I’m almost finished typing up the original and will add to the France page as I get to the notes.

Currently, I’m reading:

Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To You :: Peter Cameron
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban :: J.K. Rowling

Books I’ve got lined up to read soon:

Vast Fields of Ordinary :: Nick Burd
Glinda of Oz :: L. Frank Baum
The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate :: Jacqueline Kelly
Bambi :: Felix Salten
The Dark is Rising :: Susan Cooper

Books I’ve read this year so far:

The Giraffe :: Marie Nimier
David Inside Out :: Lee Bantle
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets :: J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone :: J.K. Rowling
Snugglepot and Cuddlepie :: May Gibbs
The Magic of Oz :: L. Frank Baum
The Tin Woodman of Oz :: L. Frank Baum
The Lost Princess of Oz :: L. Frank Baum
Rinkitink in Oz :: L. Frank Baum
The Scarecrow of Oz :: L. Frank Baum
Sky Island :: L. Frank Baum
Tik-Tok of Oz :: L. Frank Baum
The Patchwork Girl of Oz :: L. Frank Baum
Dot and Tot in Merryland :: L. Frank Baum
The Emerald City of Oz :: L. Frank Baum
The Enchanted Apples of Oz :: Eric Shanower
The Speckled Rose of Oz :: Donald Abbott
The Sea Fairies :: L. Frank Baum
Finding the Boyfriend Within :: Brad Gooch
The Magical Monarch of Mo :: L. Frank Baum
The Road to Oz :: L. Frank Baum
Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz :: L. Frank Baum
Ozma of Oz :: L. Frank Baum
The Marvelous Land of Oz :: L. Frank BaumContinue Reading