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A Chase

I’m a little sore.  My knee was slightly swollen when I woke up, so I need to make sure to not overdo things for a few days and see if that resolves itself.  I didn’t do that much of a walk yesterday, but I was active and on my feet most of the day and the two days before that I did a full three mile walk, so I’m probably just dealing with the consequences of the long break I took from my walks.  

It feels warmer today than the thermometer indicates.  That could just be me; I did wake up in the middle of the night feeling little too hot, but it was only 71º in the house.  

When I got to the park, the only other person there was a woman walking the same path as I walk.  Her pace is much better than mine, especially today, so I kept finding ways to stay out of her way so she never had to cross paths with me.  I think it’s better for others, but it also prevents people from sneaking up on me from behind.  I did get in 20 step ups as a result.  Those feel so good and get my heart really going.  I know I need to add dumbbells; I’m dreading carrying them to the park with me for my walks!  But I will.  There are a lot of things I need to get over.

It’s Brad’s birthday.  He is going for his usual birthday dinner at Cattleman’s.  He’s invited me, and I’m on the fence about it.  On the one hand, I actually do like hanging out with him and that is a good opportunity.  On the other hand, Friday evening at Cattleman’s can mean long wait times for the opportunity to sit and not have anything to eat.  Not that I mind not eating (they don’t serve anything I can have), but it can be annoying for that to be after waiting two hours to be seated.  I’m thinking about it.

Brent’s going to be over this afternoon, and after he leaves for his evening photoshoot, I think I’ll go for a second walk to try to get in my three miles.  Maybe doing it all at once is part of my problem.  Maybe it’s the total.  Maybe it doesn’t have anything to do with my walking.

[Walk #336, 2.18 miles]

 

Playlist

1. Give Life Back to Music, Daft Punk
2. Totem, Zazie
3. Cold Sweat, Hot Boys, Bright Light Bright Light
4. Magic, Kylie Minogue
5. Ding, Jewels Sparkles
6. Play, Jax Jones & Years & Years
7. Come into My World, Kylie Minogue
8. Gaslight, Derik Fein
9. Easy Lover, Miley Cyrus
10. Around the World, Daft Punk
11. Cinnamon, Derik Fein
12. From the Start, Goldenfang Records
13. Any Which Way, Scissor Sisters

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Threes All The Way Down

I’m feeling both exhausted and very accomplished!  I got in my 3.33 miles this morning, and while that was my goal, I almost felt like I could have done more…that is, until my headphones stopped working properly and my shoes started actively falling apart!  Even after having those issues, I considered just continuing on until I heard a train coming and I thought it would be fun to be on the bridge as the train passed underneath.  I am just a kid in an adult costume after all.  And it was fun.  I enjoyed that quite a bit.  Little did I know, it was one of three trains that would be coming through, so I still could have gotten a little extra in.  I would have been pretty tired when I got back though, so I think I made the right call turning around when I did.

This is a great week to get back on track with soups.  I normally just have a crockpot of soup, and I have what I need to make a light version at the moment.  I can also make some cauliflower rice meals with broccoli & sweet potato.  That would give me some variety without going overboard on calories.

I had another excellent conversation with Robert last night.  He keeps me feeling motivated with my exercise.  Later today, I’m going to make a list of the things I need, like dumbbells and yoga bricks.  I might just get online and order them.  I’m trying to get back to being serious about fitness; it might be the push my body needs for some weight loss.  We will see!!

[Walk #333, 3.33 miles]

Playlist

  1. Born for This, Kali J & LiTTie
  1. Le Freak, Chic
  1. Whisper, Able Heart
  1. Love Will Save the Day (Jellybean & David Morales 1987 Classic Underground Mix Radio Edit), Whitney Houston
  1. PS: Je t’hime, Christophe Willem
  1. Muscle, Years & Years
  1. The Valley of the Pagans, Gorillaz (feat. Beck)
  1. Make Me Feel, Janelle Monáe
  1. Roses, Adam Lambert & Nile Rodgers
  1. Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) (Steve Perry & Bryce Miller Extended Remix), Journey & Steve Perry
  1. Wrecking Ball, Miley Cyrus
  1. Get Ready For This, Kali J & LiTTie
  1. Think U The Shit (Fart), Ice Spice
  1. Die Together, LVCRFT (feat. Scar Mar Superscare & Uffie The Vampire Slayer)
  1. Holding Out For a Hero, Adam Lambert
  1. Once In a Lifetime / Yeah the Girls / ID1 (mixed by Fatboy Slim), Talking Heads, FISHER (feat. MERYLL), & ID
  1. Nothing I Would Change, Janice Robinson
  1. Jungle (mixed by Fatboy Slim), Fred again…
  1. Die With A Smile, Lady Gaga & Bruno Mars
  1. Everybody Red in the Face, Ric Wilson
  1. One More Time, Daft Punk
  2. Emojis, Adam Casanova (feat. Abby Parra)

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Do You Remember?

Cloudy day.  A little bit cooler than yesterday, but definitely still warm.  I thought I might get a full hour in, but that didn’t quite happen.  I think if it had been a weekday and the park was empty, I might have done the full hour.  I’m not sure why I seem to be shying away from my neighbors.  They don’t scare me; I’m more afraid that I bother them.  I guess I still feel a little like a guest in their home.  I just need to work on feeling more ownership of my place and some sense of being a full part of the community.  I’ll get there.

My leg was swollen and tightly squeezed into my jeans.  It has me worried because it’s been about 9 months since I was dealing with that issue.  I honestly don’t know what I might be doing wrong.  It’s frustrating because I feel like I’m trying so hard and not only am I not losing weight, but it feels like I’m gaining.  I know I’m not doing everything in my power.  I could start there.  Maybe white rice is my Achilles heel.  Maybe I’m using too much salt.  Maybe I’m cheating too often.  I need to go back to square one and built from the bottom up.  Eliminating doesn’t work for me, but starting over will. 

[Walk #331, 1.65 miles]

Playlist

  1. September, Earth, Wind & Fire
  1. You, Regard, Troye Sivan & Tate McRae
  1. Exercise the Demons, LVCRFT (feat. Olivia Demon Spawn & Bruce Campbell)
  1. Twister, The Cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race
  1. Dance Like You Got Good Credit, Cazwell (feat. Cherie Lily)
  1. Qui tu es, Emmanuel Moire
  1. Nothing Really Matters, Madonna
  1. Quest for the Hammer of Glory, Gloryhammer
  1. Shadow of the Night, Pat Benatar
  1. When the Devil Calls My Name, LVCRFT
  1. Pussy On Fire, The Cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars

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Strickland Park

Well, today did not go as planned.  It never does!  I went to Glencoe to see if the Brent & the guys he hired had gotten all of the trash, and no.  They did not.  On the way, I got a text from Sonja asking about when the mobile home would be gone and the area cleaned up.  Her patience is almost certainly wearing thin, and I don’t understand why I am the only one who can deal with this issue.  I called Brent & he contacted the buyer of the mobile home, but I told him he and I had to return next week to get it done.  So, hopefully we can finish.  He wants me to transport OPEN cans of paint in my car because his truck is too precious.  Then rent a trailer.  It’s ridiculous that we are still having these fights.

I needed to decompress, so Justin and I went shopping at Five Below and Dollar Tree, followed by a walk at Strickland Park.  Since I was in Stillwater, I thought it would be nice as I said yesterday, to go walk somewhere in the area.  And it was.  There’s a lot of fun stuff at Strickland, and the trail is walkable, even though the playground dominates the space.  During school hours on a weekday was a great time to go get in my steps.  It made me want to walk all the area parks.  Maybe I will make a checklist and just visit them all!

I talked to Conner on the phone on my way home.  He’s hoping to get out of Stillwater at some point.  I think it is a good idea if that’s what he wants to do!  There’s a world out there and there is no reason to not get out and just enjoy life.  I was so happy to hear his mom had come by to have lunch and do some painting.  It’s been rocky, but I’m glad to see things are in such a good place with her.  Now, if we can just get his dad there as well!

Even with the stress that lingers from Glencoe, I felt pretty good today.  The walk was nice, the pollen was a little lower, the temperature wasn’t so bad.  

[Walk #328, 1.12 miles]

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92ºF

It’s so hot!  I actually thought it seemed okay when I headed out, but while I was walking it was uncomfortably warm and by the time I got home, I was drenched in sweat.  To be fair, I was also working on my pace.  And it went pretty well: 20’29”/mile.

I’m thinking about going to Stillwater & Glencoe tomorrow, and if I do, I’d like to walk somewhere there that I don’t normally get to walk.  I still can hopefully get in an early morning walk, just in case.  I want to go up there to get some vinca from the old place to plant at my new house.  It isn’t ideal to replant this time of year, but I need to grab some of the vinca before I can’t.  

[Walk #327, 1.38 miles]

 

Playlist

  1. Toujours, La Grande Dame & Magenta Club
  1. Indélébile, Christophe Willem & Zaho
  1. She Works Hard for the Money, Donna Summer
  1. Star Quality, The Cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race
  1. All Over Your Face, Cazwell
  1. Rendezvous, Years & Years
  1. Feel Good Inc., Gorillaz & De La Soul (feat. David Jolicoeur, Kelvin Mercer & Vincent Mason)
  1. Emojis, Adam Casanova (feat. Abby Parra)
  1. Rêvalité, –M–

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Waiting

I spent all day waiting for the guy to arrive to fix the dishwasher.  He never showed up, but he did call a little after 6 p.m. to say he was an hour and a half away.  I asked him to reschedule me for tomorrow.  I hadn’t gone for a walk all day because I was expecting him any moment, but I did do some jogging in place cardio at home.  It is just not the same.  I’ve been doing that sort of thing all summer, and I have not seen the results that a daily walk can give.  I think it’s just too easy to be lazy and only do just enough.  With a walk, it is so much more often that you reach the exercise goal, but still need to get back home, so you get the extra in naturally.  At home, the notification goes off and I immediately stop.  I could up my goal, but I’ve struggled to even reach it recently.  Walking is just better.  Joining a gym might work as well.  While it would give me the option of just stopping at my goal, having to drive to the location might give me the motivation to do a higher goal that isn’t specifically in my watch, maybe an hour.  I haven’t decided.  The cheapest gym in town is $40 per month, at least that I have found.  Stillwater had multiple $10-15 options, so it seems like a big ask to spend so much.

I asked for a call tomorrow when they are on the way to my house, so I shouldn’t have the same excuse.  I can go on my walk and just be on notice to return to the house when they are on the way.

[no walk]

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This photo was taken on the trip to Glencoe. I was on the phone during the walk and did not take a photo.

I’m Back

Finally!  After excuses and life’s being too busy, I am hopefully back to daily walks.  I had been planning to get back to it anyway, but I was so frustrated this afternoon that I needed to get out of the house for a moment.

Moving to Guthrie seems like the right thing for me, and the new house has been great, but of course this month has only started and there are challenges.  The dishwasher stopped working a few days ago, so I scheduled a repair for that.  Of course, we knew that it was on its last leg during the home inspection.  That’s how I ended up with a home warranty.  Hopefully, they are able to just replace it.  But I guess if they got it working properly, I couldn’t complain that much.  It doesn’t fit properly into the space and I would like that to change.  We’ll see.  Someone should be here tomorrow.  On top of that, there have been other electric issues and currently the hot water is not working.  I suspect it is the electric panel and not the hot water heater, but I just need to have an electrician out to look at it.  I discovered that this morning, and then today during a drive to Glencoe, the fan on the car AC went out.  I’m wondering how many other things could go wrong this week.  

All of that sounds expensive and annoying, so when Justin was doing what Justin does and not really responding, it started to really grate.  I get that his anxiety can cause him to become so overwhelmed that he retreats internally and basically can no longer participate externally.  I do understand that.  However, and a massive however, he thinks things are always fine and doesn’t understand why he should take his medication.  He doesn’t see himself from the outside, so he doesn’t see the problems that it causes.  It’s such a catch-22.  Medicated, he loses some of the personality that makes him so special, but he is able to function better as an adult in his 40s.  And I know that his reluctance is more than that.  There are side effects he doesn’t like, and if he has someone to do everything for him, he can get by not having to be as functioning.  Is that fair?  I worry sometimes that I’m being unfair ABOUT him.  I don’t think I am.  While I do genuinely want the best for him, when you live in a household with others, you participate.  Currently, I have to do everything.  A single task given to Justin can take a few weeks to complete.  He might as well be doing nothing in that case.  And then I feel overwhelmed because I’m having to put this place together myself.  Having just done the majority of the work moving out of Mom & Dad’s house, the shed, and then my own house (including Justin’s stuff), I’m so tired and I still feel like I’m getting no assistance from people involved.  I’m not sure what to do.

That frustration aside, the walk was nice.  I only did 15 minutes.  It was a pretty impromptu walk, so I didn’t really know what routes worked best around this neighborhood.  I can see how I will easily be able to get good walks in as I get back up to 3 miles.  I could easily snake up and down the streets in various ways.  I need to get my walking kit back together, so I have music and a bag and probably a cap.  It was a little sunny and I don’t need a sunburn on my face!  Tomorrow, while I would prefer an early walk, I will have to wait for the repair on the dishwasher to be over.  But I can start going out in the morning on Wednesday.  I was upsetting some dogs who didn’t know me, but after some time they’ll get used to me and it won’t be an issue.  I don’t know if I need treats like I have had before.  That was mostly to befriend rural dogs who are more likely to bite.  The dogs around here are inside fences… mostly.  I think I should be fine without.

[Walk #314, 0.71 miles]