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I really expected the loons to have migrated by now, but they are still around. They are quite creepy to hear, especially when they call at night. It just doesn’t sound like a bird. Lucille, the 86 year old woman upstairs, said they will leave just when it is about to freeze. No freezing in the immediate forecast, so my time here should be full of loon creepiness.

JD & Jess share a birthday tomorrow. I wish them both well and hate that I cannot be around to see them. I will really miss my friends when I move. Happy birthday to both of you.

Images: vintage illustration of loon

Featured Image Art: vintage postcard

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It seems quite official — we are moving to Alaska. Lori has had a lot of luck in finding a job, but I still have nothing. I need to try just that much harder this week so I can find something. Justin seems equally ready to just “get the hell out of Dodge” so to speak. It seems we have reached a conclusion that this is where we want to be.

I have asked Brent for help, but I am not sure to what extent he can. It is a bad time to be moving and I know that one or two months ago would have proven easier on us. But we won’t soon forget the arduous trek across the continent, just to find something new. It will likely be one of the highlights of our time of the planet, regardless of the level of success we have in our new lives.

I will certainly regret a few things. I will terribly miss my friends who are so close, even if I rarely see them. Travis, JD, Kendra, Jerry, James, Shauna, Meghan, Sandra, Jill, Cindy, Brandy, Jonette, Christine, The Kim, and anyone whose name I left off (and I will feel bad for it later!). I love all of you and my home will always be welcome to you if you visit.

Images: cartoon illustration of bear; Barbara Lavallee, “Gathering the Season”

Featured Image Art: vintage illustration of moose

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Random Thoughts To People I Know:

•I do usually know, Lori. Maybe I can put in a camera!
•Break a leg, Meg. Or at least have a good time.
•Jessica Cassesa! Where have you been?!? We need to shop!
•It was strange and nice to catch up, Robby.
•Travis? Do I know someone named Travis?
•Jess, things are not looking good. See me for details.
•I miss you, Christine.
•Meghan… the hair… wtf?
•Good luck with the living situation, Nick & Sarah.
•Justin, I am very sleepy and I want to watch TV.
•I don’t really want to mess with Christmas, Brent & Laurisa.
•When will I see you again, Ren?
•I love that you work at my store now, Shauna.
•I might be secretely stalking you, Meghan. One can never be sure.
•Christine! You must want your DVD back. I’m a horrible person!!!
•Lori, I want to make some stuff… really.
•Jill, I went to get that movie for you, but it was way expensive!!!
•Jerr…?
•Oh, Shauna, sorry I didn’t say Good Morning the other day. It hurt to.
•Can’t wait to work with you on Tuesday, Meghan!
•Justin, I am mad at you!!! No reason.
•Brad, are you ever actually online?
•You make me smile, John (venusunfolding).
•Can I borrow that one movie, Jilly???
•Brandy, I will let you borrow the kd lang CD. You didn’t get it just for being a lesbian like you wanted.
•JD. Just JD.
•I can’t wait to see you again, Troy. It has been too long.
•I love you, Jobeth.
•Travis who?

Featured Image Art: art by Steve Johnson (via Unsplash)

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Friends:
I got this amazing card from a friend early early early this morning when I finally got home from work (2:30 a.m.). Essentially, the card stated that I have things together in my life while that isn’t true of everyone. I think I see the perspective intended, but I don’t totally agree. I think that different things are important to different people. For me, money is not important. Yes, I do need it to pay the bills, but I don’t let it run my life. That isn’t to say I have any. Owning a home was also a priority of mine. Having purchased a home and not worrying about money when I don’t have to, my life seems to be fine. Again, just because I don’t complain about money doesn’t mean I have any. And although I can take care of my two cats without thought, I can’t keep a plant alive to save my life.

Other things have more value to friends than they do to me. As money is a concern, sometimes going back to school is a priority. Or getting a promotion. It isn’t that my life is any more in order. It is just different. I still am a mess. I can’t keep my house clean, bills paid on time, and I have never had a boyfriend. Those things get me down from time to time. But I can look to this friend or that one and find them executing those things with ease and it gives me hope that I can someday do the same.

I really loved the letter because it is good to hear what others think of you when you feel like a royal fuck-up most of the time. I hope all the people in my life realize how much I care about them. At the risk of being sappy and a little silly, I think I should tell some of the people in my life what I admire about them.

Justin: You have overcome so much and are such an interesting person. I really love how close you are to your sister, at times willing to drop everything to help her out with the kids. I am so happy that you have found someone, even if it reminds me that I haven’t. It gives me hope that I can someday. I admire your job and the hard work involved.

Travis: Thank you for being my friend for so long and through so many personal traumas. It has really helped. I wish I had your drive in school. Maybe then I would have done something more than retail. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but teaching may be a bit more rewarding. It drives me up the wall most of the time, but I actually admire the way you budget and save your money. I really just appreciate you on so many levels.

Lori: Girl, you really are my “Grace.” I love how you are determined to move up in the world. I admire the honesty you have with yourself concerning money, health, and love. I love that you lower standards for nobody and you are steadfast in your beliefs and morals. You are such a dedicated worker that I feel like I am doing so little by comparison. I love that you are so full of empathy and that you will sit and listen when I need that.

Jessica: …don’t be upset for this… I am so profoundly amazed at how courageous you are in spite of a complete lack of parental involvement in your adult life. It is wonderful that you are sure enough of yourself to go on, complaining only mildly. I love your sense of humor and sense of fun. You are such a neat person to be around.

JD: You really have it together. Really. You have my taste, Travis’ budgeting ability, and a child on top of it. You might be the happiest person I have ever met and my life has been so full because of you. I admire your absolute devotion to Kendra, your humor, your compassion. You are the person I wish I could be with sometimes.

Jerry: who will never read this… I really miss you. I don’t know where you are, since your boyfriend won’t let you talk to me, but I do miss you. You were my first gay friend and got me through coming out to my parents. I really admire that you never take shit from anyone.

Everyone else: There are things about everyone I love. That is why you are my friends. That includes xanga friends, John, Jim, Robby, & the rest. It includes work friends, Christine, Meghan, Jill, Brandy, Ray, & the rest. Love to all!!!

Featured Image Art: Peter Stanick, “Guy”

originally posted on Xanga