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Life:
Sometimes life isn’t fair. Justin just called me because his cell phone bill needs to be paid.

Let me fill you in: Justin is my friend and roommate and one of the sweetest people you will ever meet. But he is schizophrenic and socially phobic. There is quite a bit he doesn’t understand or handle correctly in the world. Because of these problems, I am in charge of his finances. Justin has spent the last six years (the time I have known him) in and out of mental facilities, on and off medications, and in various states of self control. I have never seen him as well as he is right now. But that didn’t change everything, and I was stupid to think it would.

A woman called from the cell phone company to tell him the payment was late. He was supposed to get a check from me and pay it, but both of us forgot. He explained to her that he didn’t realize it was late because he had recently switch his plan, but would get it paid. Knowing Justin as I do, that is exactly how it went. He doesn’t exaggerate or embelish stories. The woman on the phone told him that he had been with the company for 3 years so he knew when his bill was due and obviously he liked to pay his bill every 2 months. True. I know I shouldn’t but I tend to wait for 2 months worth before paying. I should stop that.

Anyway, Justin is actually not upset with her (I would be). He is upset that he was unable to handle it. He was upset that when he called back to complain, they didn’t seem to care. He was upset because he isn’t normal. Again, life: not fair. And poor Justin gets takes a lot from a world that doesn’t accept him on any level. He really is special.

Featured Image Art: photo of a desk phone by Le Huynh Bo (via Wikimedia Commons)

originally posted on Xanga

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DVD:
I finally got Northern Exposure Season One. It makes me feel like a teenager again. It came on when I was 10 and my family was hooked. My dad grew up in Alaska, so it may have been about that. I love it though.

Nostalgia:
I have been crazy nostaligic lately. Every tiny thing reminds me of being a kid. I even purchased Fruity Pebbles and Coco Puffs so I could remember them. Am I really old enough to feel this way? This was only 10 years ago.

Plants:
My plants may die. I can’t decide if I care.

Justin:
I spent the day with Justin. We went to Bangkok (my favorite Thai place) and then to Target. We picked up a lot of clothes and a new DVD player. Maybe this one will work… Hopefully!! Justin isn’t home enough, what with his new boyfriend and his job and the voices in his head going away. He is sick now though… C’est la vie!

DVD:
Spending more quality time with Northern Exposure tonight…

Featured Image Art: still from Northern Exposure

originally posted on Xanga

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Frustration:

My life has been filled with so much stress lately… I just need a break for it. I woke up this morning ten minutes after I was supposed to be at work, which set the mood for the entire day. I love my job normally, but it just seems that they expect me to not only do my job — and do it well — but also the job of three other people. Not that I mind a little push once in a while from management, as I am a person who requires an occasional shove in the right direction, particularly while out of medication, but they don’t seem to take into account that we are currently running on 2 supervisors instead of our suggested 8. They must figure that we’ve done it for so long we should be used to it, but I think it is catching up with me. I feel as though I cannot take vacation or sick days — when I should go to the doctor! I feel an unneccessary obligation to show up and work extra hours, which I cannot be clocked in for, as we are not allowed even fifteen minutes of overtime. And I have been making it worse for the other supervisor, who says she understands, but I know she is cursing my name while I am not there.

Foolishly, I tink I can escape the pressure by coming home! Instead I come home to Mr. Mood, my roommate, who really I care for deeply — he is a good friend. But as a schizophrenic and socialphobic person, I cannot tell what is in store at home, but I know it will be stressful. I just don’t know what to do… and I can’t get Calgon to take it away, as there is just a single bathroom that invariably smells of kitty litter and dirty clothes. And I would hang out in my room if my roommate didn’t require constant attention and follow me in (and if the shootings didn’t distract me!!). I realize deep down that this is just a storm I need to ride out… nothing permanent and it WILL get better, as soon as the managers hire some people.

Self:

I need to get myself motivated to use the gym I am paying for. I feel much better (and it is a better investment) if I go. I have been flattered by the comments that I am getting smaller — I hope it isn’t just flattery.

Family:

I miss G.

Featured Image Art: Vincent van Gogh, “Irises”

originally posted on Xanga