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I live alone again. I’m trying to be okay with that and think I am coming to terms with it. David was right. This is better for both of us, but that isn’t the point. I miss him. I miss Jo-da. I miss the sounds of another person in the house. But everything will be fine.

I moved into David’s old apartment. It is a large space and suits me well. The neighborhood is a bit too quiet, but the neighbors aren’t overly inquisitive, which is nice. I hate feeling watched.

Work has been irritating. It has seemed much busier than it has been and I feel like I am constantly behind. Welcome to the holiday shopping season!

Heather got moved too. I feel bad for abandoning her and finding my own place, but she has been really nice about it. That almost makes me feel worse about it though. She has found a place to stay — with some of my favorite people in Anchorage. Things are going to work out for her.

Life feels right at the moment. I’m really trying to stay in the moment and not focus too much in either direction — past or future. Being as here as I can be is good. Being happy with myself is my only goal and I am getting there… slowly, but surely.

I really miss my family right now. The next few months will be rough without a visit. And I need to call Brandy, who came to visit me and has yet to hear from me. I have too much to do.

I haven’t found my France journal yet. I was in the middle of putting it on here and misplaced it during my move to David’s. I will try to locate that this week and resume writing about my experiences. I wanted to be done with that by the end of this year.

If anyone has any great ideas for what I could do with my other website, let me know.

Images: photos of new apartment

Featured Image Art: L Dundas, “Studies of Foxes” (1950)

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This is my last day in the duplex. I intend to be moved out by the end of the day today — both me and the cats. I am quite over this moving experience. It is second only to moving to Alaska for the worst of my life. It has felt rushed and cursed the entire time. Even now, many of my things sit untouched in the soon to be vacant house. It hardly seems like I have enough time to move. In truth, I had planned to continue tomorrow morning, as this is my regularly scheduled weekend off. The manager who writes the schedule, in her infinite pregnant “wisdom” decided that she would schedule me anyway. Don’t worry, I have been making her feel bad about it since I saw the schedule. I should have just told her that I cannot work. This is too important.

The cats have yet to figure out what is in store for them. They will like the new place eventually, but for now they are about to be traumatized… ripped from their home without any warning. I intend to sleep for a long time the next time I get a day off, which apparently isn’t until Thursday. I want it to be right now.

Image: photo of Franz & Molly

Featured Image Art: AI Image (created using Wonder AI)

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I have found myself homeless… or about to be homeless. I am really apprehensive about it for a number of very real reasons.

I will be living on David’s couch. He is moving into a one bedroom house. It is very small. He has also recently acquired a dog — a husky. She is a sweet thing and took to me right away. My issue is that I have two cats. I don’t want them to be harmed and I fear that Joda could easily kill them. David was rather blasé about it, remarking that they should be fine as long as they stay away from her food and they would have the entire downstairs to themselves. I would be devestated if Joda harmed them.

It is true, the basement is huge and the cats will love it down there, but in their 6 years of life, they have always had me to sleep on or near. They are very social cats and don’t like to hide. I’m not sure how I feel about disrupting them for so long. I need to have my babies around me… they are my family. I appreciate David’s willingness to take us in, but I wish he would take that part into consideration a little bit more than he has. (He got the dog AFTER confirming that I was moving in) I have decided to try and have some sort of set up so I can hang out downstairs a litte, but it will get quite cold down there. It is officially too late to find somewhere else to live and I don’t know anyone who could take them in for a few months.

I will not have anything at David’s and I won’t have space to myself. I am the type of person that needs to be alone sometimes. I won’t have that. I need to have some of my things around. I won’t have that. I need to feel comfortable in my home. I won’t have that.

I plan on getting a place no later than December 1. I need the time at David’s to save up for moving into a place of my own. I am just worried. I hope it all goes really well and I really hope the animals can be socialized to live with one another.

Featured Image Art: AI Image (created using Wonder AI)

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there is a lot of drama and a lot of packing going on right now. i am super busy. i only have until the end of the month to get my stuff packed and moved… have i mentioned that i hate packing? not only am i moving, but i will essentially be homeless, living on David’s sofa for a few months. i am looking forward to it! 🙂

i found my journal from my trip to france 11 years ago. i am considering putting it on here.. or at least parts of it. i was such a dork back then.

Featured Image Art: photo of Molly

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Sometimes, people are just plain nice, which is always unexpected. I called the Oklahoma Unemployment offices for some help. I am required to attend a work rehabilitation meeting this Friday with Workforce Oklahoma. Although I am required to attend in order to receive my unemployment check, they are not actually the same agency. However, the number for Workforce Oklahoma may not be dialed from Alaska. Expecting resistance, I called the only number I knew, the one to file a claim, and spoke to a claims representative. To my surprise, she not only was attentive to what my issue, but offered to call the number for me. When she received no answer, she then offered to fax over the information I had given. It was so nice to speak to somebody who genuinely wanted to help.

On the job front, speaking of unemployment, I did attend a screening session for Fred Meyer yesterday. It was rather strange, but I imagine it will result in an interview. I also have an interview with Wal-Mart this morning. I am not sure what kind of position that will be for, but I think I really need to focus on finding a management position. Not that I will limit my search to that or refuse work, but at some point I need to get back into retail management because I just love it. And I am good at it. I am really interested in positions I found online at some other companies. We will see how those go.

Images: cartoon illustration of moose on laptop computer, moose crossing sign

Featured Image Art: flag of The State of Alaska

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I think Daria summed it up nicely. And this newest adventure in my life is quickly becoming one of the most frustrating too. Things just never go smoothly and I think that from time to time they just should.

What the… am I talking about? Moving is expensive and stressful, regardless of the inherent beauty of the surrounding landscape. It just… sucks. Finding a job, finding an apartment, coming up with the money for the apartment, getting my stuff/cats up here, paying for gas/tires along the way. It is all just a little much to handle.

Plus, I feel completely responsible for this move. Yes, Justin and Lori are moving as well, but I feel like I caused the whole migration and now feel like I need to be the one who solves the problems involved. I have already gotten in trouble for that one!

I would love for the whole thing to be over!!! I want it to be December 1 and I have a job I love, an apartment I love, my condo sold, and life back to normal (or close to normal anyway). In the meantime, I dread the process!!!!

Images: still from Daria; vector image of bison

Featured Image Art: Barbara Lavallee, “Eskimos and Calicos”