Velleity?
I am currently reading The Mother Tongue by Bill Bryson. I have read it a number of times before… Bill Bryson is such an excellent writer. This time around, the book seems to have rekindled my love of words (I had hardly noticed my interest had waned). It is almost enough to make me continue my education and get a real degree. Almost.
I think returning to school frightens me a little. Not the actual school part… that seems now that it would be easy, but I will have to figure out what I would want to do afterwards. I want to write, but question my talent lately. It all seems very difficult sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I am not upset about any of this. I am just being realistic about it. I am on the verge of 28 and have done nothing professionally with my writing. That can be considered quite old to get started.
I think it is good for me to question myself and ponder these things. It will make be a better person in the end, regardless of were it takes me. Writing, as one of the few passions I have, should be where I turn to when I need to release part of my soul. Too often, however, it seems that it just isn’t enough to get me to do anything about my life. We’ll see.
Image: photo by Thom Milkovic (via Unsplash)
Featured Image Art: photo by Debby Hudson (via Unsplash)
‘The Time Has Come,’ The Walrus Said
‘The time has come,’ the Walrus said,
‘To talk of many things:
Of shoes – and ships – and sealing-wax –
Of cabbages – and kings –
And why the sea is boiling hot –
And whether pigs have wings.’
Life just keeps changing on me. No, I am no longer at Barnes & Noble. And no, it isn’t by choice. I don’t really want to discuss it though and I hate having to tell people… especially my parents. Aside from feeling like a failure (having been with a company for 7 years and getting fired), I knew they would try to fix the situation, which isn’t what I want. I can generally solve my problems… my way. I don’t need to do everything their way. And that is a tough conversation to have. Ol’ confrontational me will never say anything.
Mind you, I do appreciate the advice, but the quick fix to my problem is irritating.
The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying overhead –
There were no birds to fly.
The world seems open with possibilities now, which is nice. I recently referred to B&N as a family, stating that families are good for two things: creating a sense of security and keeping you tied down. And that is true. I feel so free of the concerns I had at work. I don’t need to care about any of the day to day crap I dealt with there, but I shall deeply miss a lot of the people, not to mention making my own schedule. :pleased:
I have kicked around the idea of going back to school. I am interested and I am starting to gain focus on what I want to do, but I really dread doing it. I am interested in several things. Mainly, I want to work with the mentally ill (those with a chemical rather than physiological disorder) and their families. I would like to work in either a counseling, social work, or advocacy role for these individuals. This has been a calling of mine for a long time — since high school. I really feel that I can do the most good in this field. My other interest, which is totally unrelated, is Interior Design. It doesn’t have the human side that the other does, but it is likely to pay better, use my creative talents, and be very fun rather than challenging. I doubt that I would get the same satisfaction out of that.
I have been applying for any retail management jobs I can find. So far, I have been to Foley’s, Bed Bath & Beyond, Pier 1, & Borders. I have applied online at Babies R Us, Cracker Barrel, IKEA, Schurman Fine Papers, Blockbuster, & GameStop. Hopefully something will work out.
I am also trying to organize my people to create my web based business. I really want it to be successful, but I just need to people to do the work. I have been doing everything, which can take quite some time. I will release more information about it later… when I feel like I have a firm grasp on the concept.
Lastly, I want to be published. It doesn’t require a degree, but doesn’t pay anything until a publisher is interested. And I need to finish my book before a publisher will be interested.
Images: still from Disney’s Alice In Wonderland; photo of Damon Albarn
Featured Image Art: vintage postcard