Once upon a time, things seemed simple.

Of all the book sites out there, I’ve found Shelfari to be the easiest to use. That is all changing rapidly. They keep “improving” the site, which apparently means complicating every tiny detail. It is still the best out there, but really that now only means they are the least crappy of several really crappy sites.

Any book site I’m missing that is wonderful??? Apparently, it isn’t going to be Shelfari for long… and it certainly isn’t GoodReads.

I’m not looking for a new MySpace. That already exists.

Frustrated…

Why is everyone the same?

Each time a customer comes in and asks me for a book I’ve been asked for a thousand times, I want to say “yep, you are just one of the sheep.” There is a world of overlooked books out there! No, you don’t need to read The Shack or Twilight or Marley & Me.

I am looking for the next great novel to read. I’m greatly enjoying my trips to Oz, but I’m really searching for something different. Any suggestions?

Night before last, I had a series of nightmares, which is fairly unusual for me. In one, I was walking up to the house where Daniel lived (actually my grandparents’ house) and was really scared because the screen door was open and knocking against the house. Inside, I could see Daniel pacing back and forth. Okay, so in retrospect that isn’t much of a nightmare, but at the time it felt like one.

In another I was visiting some walruses in a marine park where there were several dozen in a rather warm pool of water. They were all really quite happy to be there and were jumping into the air and doing tricks like dolphins. One almost hit me with his tusks, but it was an innocent mistake. When playtime was over, we went into the nuclear plant where they worked with an assemblage of rather cantankerous penguins and taskmaster rock monsters. The walruses went into cubicles off to the side for a safety drill and demonstration for my benefit. Only the rock monsters could be out during the drill. During the video demonstration of what might happen during a bombing, a bombing actually occurred. Everyone was safe, but downstairs at Mardel, several employees were killed. Since I was the HR manager of the plant, I met with some of the others to put our plan into motion. I’d overheard one of the Mardel managers saying that they would not be taking any precautions, which I brought up to decrease our liability. As I read over the procedures for handling a bombing from corporate, I started to cry. And then I woke up. There were a lot of things going on in this dream, but the impending sense of doom was constant. And maybe I’ve retained a deep hatred for Mardel stores.

There were others. I don’t recall the events, but several woke me up. Last nights dreams also woke me up several times, but they were altogether more pleasant… too much so in the case of one I just won’t go into details on. I promise it didn’t mean anything though. 😉

My brain seems a bit more in order than it had in a long while. I’ve felt scattered for a few months. Well, if I’m honest, I’ve felt like a huge screw up. But no matter, I’m feeling a bit more sorted out. After a relatively long dry spell, I’ve been writing again. It is nice to have the words return when it happens. It is a feeling that almost makes those blocks worth it. Scratch that, let them stay this time.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading again too. It seems that with my brain functioning fully, I can do a great many things. I’ve discovered L Frank Baum. What a fantastic imagination he had! For a few years now I’ve wanted to read the original 40 Oz books, the first 14 of which were written by Baum. I’m on book #5 right now, The Road To Oz. They are such fun books and keep interesting even without any violence. There is a little bit of conflict in each book, but it isn’t typically a murderous villain. The foes are thoughtful characters who explain themselves and the position they are in. I wish I’d found these books in childhood. I tend to create worlds in the way Baum did. I’ve secured 12 of the 14 of his books and I’ll find the final 2 I need this weekend. As is typical, they all seem to be between printings. Ruth Plumly Thompson, the second and most prolific Oz author will take me a lot more time. 15 of her 19 books are still in print, but somewhat expensive. I’ll have to buy them slowly and may never get to read the last few unless they are reprinted. The cheapest copy of one of them I found was $150… I don’t need to read it that bad!Continue Reading

My stomach decided to go on the attack and I have been really unhappy for about 24 hours. Blah! I’ve medicated and hopefully will be all better very soon.

I really did spend the day being pretty unhappy. I had friends over late, I couldn’t sleep because of my stomach issues, and overslept for work. I felt really bad. And then I couldn’t seem to get anything right at work. Grr.

Many paper companies released Valentine’s Day collections last summer. Those who didn’t only waited until October to do so. That was smart. Now, when Valentine’s is finally on everyone’s minds, those collections can easily be found at many retailers. Maybe it is because I am so bitter over never having had a Valentine of my own, but I hate this holiday. I do more to celebrate Groundhog Day than Valentine’s Day. Because of that, most of the products make me a little bit ill. The ones I put on here do not. In fact, several companies did a really nice job this year with making the day of love more tolerable.Continue Reading

I’ve been digging through websites in an attempt to catch previews of the upcoming releases from various craft companies. CHA is at the end of this month and I haven’t been able to hold out. Tim Holtz is clearly not offering any previews. I was hoping, but I’m hardly surprised. 7gypsies has a preview coming soon and I’m very curious.

I did see the new releases from Cosmo Cricket and I’m really excited to get my hands on some of it! They did a great job of creating some new collections. I’d really like to see another Wanted or Gretel come out during the Summer CHA, but these new ones will look great in my crafting for a while.Continue Reading

Christmas is starting to get further and further behind us. It all just rushed by too quickly this year. I normally don’t care for the holidays, but really felt good about them this year. It felt as though I had found a place I really belonged. I’m relieved to have found people I am that comfortable around and who seemed just as happy to include me in their plans. I could not have been blessed with better friends.

It has been a good year. I have a terrific job, amazing friends, & life seems generally great. I cannot hope for much more from 2009. I’m looking forward to finding out what this year will be all about.

I try not to make any resolutions, so I will continue resisting. Six months from now I may find that I stopped or started something very near the beginning of the year. That happened when I stopped eating meat (2007) and when I stopped using plastic bags (2008). I wonder who I’ll be during the year I turn 30.

And now, some dreadful poetry.

New

The ends are beginning
arbitrary moments in time —
halts

reflection washes over the dissatisfied
resolve replacing regret as a new chapter is written
in a life not quite lived, but often contemplated

Time does not pause
does not wait for understanding
does not wait for readiness
does not cooperate
does not expect us to be someone new

12.31.2008

Yep, that was horrible! I guess they can’t all be amazing.

I’m really looking forward to starting the business I want to start. I need to save some money first though. I think an online retail business is something I am very capable of doing though. For now, etsy will have to be my outlet for that. It has been fun creating some things just for the shop. I am itching to get into buying wholesale papercrafting supplies and selling them though. It’ll happen.

I’ve been pretty homesick for my family in Oklahoma. Fortunately, I’ve been able to surround myself with love, which has helped. I still am anxious to get home for a visit, but listlessness does nothing for me. I’d rather feel whole and visit because I want to, not because I have to. July seems so far away though.

I hope the holidays are treating everyone as well as they have been treating me.