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Election:

I am sorry world. I am sorry. I don’t understand why people cannot see what an ignorant slut this president is. Why can’t they see that discrimination is wrong in all forms. W supports discrimination. Why can’t people see that minority issues should not be decided by voters. We did not do this with women’s rights or African American rights. Our country was so divided by a minority population to contribute to a civil war. What measures will now be required for me to be a real citizen of the country I live in and love? When will it be my turn to feel free?

Fuck you if you voted to keep this. Fuck you if you want me to be under the thumb of the religious right who have conveniently forgotten that we have a separation of church and state. I will eventually have to accept that my life will never be different. Bush will never give fair attention to any issue affecting my life. Bush will not only ignore me, but will continue pissing off the world through his ignorant arrogance. Allies matter. Fuck you, George W Bush! You are not my president. You do not have a mandate.

Half of this country still opposes you and your “Christian agenda.” That is ironic that a Christian person would support the death penalty, war, discrimination. It is amusing that these are the issues that would define them. Opposition to these issues is Christian. I am ashamed to live in the United States. I am ashamed that George W Bush was re-elected. I am upset that some people don’t understand how dangerous this man is. I want the troops home with their families, not occupying Iraq, where oil reserves forced us into attacking. Bush: Fuck you, you ignorant slut!

This is a sad day.

On the other hand, good job Kerry/Edwards. We were out here. Don’t be disheartened. You had support. I am just sorry it wasn’t enough.

My last post:

Sorry if any of you were offended by my last post. I was upset and I feel passionate about politics very rarely. It was good to release. I just feel trapped by this country lately. Jess, Lori, and I discussed this issue tonight and I feel much better about it.

Obsession(s):

I know I get obsessed easily, but I am very into squash of all kinds right now and I am on a crusade to get everyone to eat squash. Tonight I made “zingerbread” while Lori made enchilada soup, to which I added zucchini. I got 2 cookbooks and don’t want to waste them. I want to make pumpkin pies from different types of pumpkins, pumpkin soup in winter squash bowls, squash chips w/ cucumber dip, and all kinds of other things. I think summer squash is my favorite food. The zingerbread was excellent by the way.

Lazy:

I overslept because of the election and missed my dental appointment. Lori and I spent the day watching movies, talking, cooking, sleeping, and just generally relaxing. It really was nice. We had a fire going and it felt nice to not worry about work or my parents. It really made me want to start using my fireplace, which I have covered by a bookcase right now. I really wish I had someone to share my life with. Someone to cuddle with.

Top 10 Stores I Actually Shop At:
1. Target
2. Barnes & Noble
3. Lulu Faboo
4. IKEA
5. Lowe’s
6. Wal-mart Neiborhood Market
7. Walls Bargain Center
8. Reasor’s
9. Hancock Fabrics
10. Nam-Hai

Featured Image Art: meme of Hal Sparks

originally posted on Xanga

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Lament For Tooth #30:

It is done. Satisfied with the amount of decrease in infection, Dr. Coffey gassed me, gave me shots, and ripped my quickly dying tooth from my jaw. The process was not too bad actually. The hygienist was very nice, which always helps. Unfortunately, I require multiple shots before achieving numbness. That only made the wait take longer. When I was as numb as I was getting, he worked to pry the tooth loose, which it was not interested in.  Some impromptu surgery and sutures later, the tooth is completely gone. Then came the bleeding. It only took me 3 or 4 hours to get the clot to form, which I am telling myself is normal. Now I am just supposed to take it easy for 24 hours, which should be easy (considering that is all I do with my life usually).

Why would I want to hang on to a part of my body that didn’t have the courtesy to stay alive? Seriously though, the dentist and the nurse who wrapped stuff up both offered me the black and shattered tooth remnants. Yes, those would go great with my body parts collection. Or maybe with my collection of old broken things that have died. No thank you. I do not want to keep the tooth.

It always irritates me when I have to come back. Next week the sutures will come out and a comprehensive exam of my teeth will be completed so that a long term treatment plan can be established to both fill the gap in my teeth and have fillings reset to prevent losing the other 5 teeth that are in the same danger. I don’t know that he understood that I want as much done by December 31 as possible because I met my deductible the other day for 2004. I still say it is stupid that teeth don’t rank as a medical expense.

Sleepy:

Codeine is one of the nicest parts of any medical visit, dentist of otherwise. It does make me sleepy though. I keep thinking about how nice it would be to have a boyfriend to wait on my hand and foot instead of being at my parents’ house waiting for chili I know I won’t like and not being able to sleep because the menu for the Shrek DVD will not allow me to sleep.

I need a man for more reasons than that. There was a guy in today that made me realize that I may have moved on from bois to men. He was in his 40s, very built, but with no neck. He was very attractive to me. But then I was thinking about how I wouldn’t even know what to do with that kind of man.

Family:

I am at my parents’ house, as I said, which I love because I grew up in this house. I have been the most against selling this house as my parents looked for somewhere else to live, but I like the idea if it means building our very own homestead.

Conner has been so great today. He told me this story about his uncle John (my sister-in-law’s brother) scaring him as a wolf at the downtown trick-or-treat night. It was cute, but being the defiant kid he is made sure that I understood that he hit Uncle John. Today was also the first time Conner called me Uncle Brian. It was nice, as Conner has always called me Brent.

I can’t sleep here. If it had the walls, carpet, furniture, accessories, appliances, or smell it had while I was growing up it would be more relaxing. But it is not. Everything has changed (even the toilet and tub!) I can’t wait to drive home and sleep in my own bed for the rest of the day.

Gifts:

Am I the gayest person on the planet??? I have gotten what I need to make pillows, throws, and/or sachets. It will be nice to save money and have given something so meaningful.

Let It All Out:

I am on a roll with pissing people off. So, here goes again. A few weeks ago, I mentioned a secret that I kept until now from my friends. Specifically, Lori and Jess who would be most affected by the news. I went dancing the night we went out for Jess’ birthday. I went after I refused to be the DD. But that is a major part of my point.

Jim called at 11:30. He and his boyfriend were to be at the Majestic in 30 minutes. It had been so long that I put myself together and met them there, where I danced away.

I never want to be a DD. If it comes up, then fine, but I don’t want to be asked to go somewhere just because I have decided to not drink. I am nobody’s bitch. Again, I don’t mind helping out, but these things must be on my own terms.

Featured Image Art: photo by Kenny Eliason (via Unsplash)

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I started taking penicillin for a tooth infection Monday after seeing the dentist. By Tuesday morning I was feeling quite sick.  By Tuesday afternoon I was in bed where I would stay for the next 27 hours. I was very ill. I still don’t feel great, but I am still taking the antibiotic from hell and have forced myself to eat. Unfortunately, none of my side effects call for stopping the use of the drug. Blah. I guess I will be happy once the tooth is gone and the pain from that has been relieved. For now I am just happy to not be in bed.

Featured Image Art: Joseph Decker, “Boy at the Dentist” (2008, via Wikimedia Commons)

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Happy birthday to my mom!!!

Yesterday:
I spent the day playing with Conner & KC. My brothers and I were taken to see the land my parents just purchased. I really liked it because it is quite large and surrounded by trees. They are planning a house, garden, lake… it all sounds great. My family is really not a city one. Our tendancy towards farms makes this location great. It is secluded, while not being too far from the turnpike or town. I also watched some TV with my parents. That was after Conner went home and KC went to bed.

Today:
I woke up really early (6:20) and went to the dentist. After messing around in my mouth for a while, it was decided that the tooth really should come out… I already knew that and had made that clear. However, because of the severity of the infection I must wait a week. Blah. He was surprised that I didn’t end up in the hospital and I guess I feel lucky for that. The rest of the day was lazy. I was in pain from all the messing with my tooth, so I slept a little. We then watched Dr Phil and I finally left. I just wanted to be at home with my bed and my shower and my stuff.

Tomorrow:
I have to go in really early tomorrow… 7:00. At least I won’t be drugged up like I will be next week. I feel like I never get any rest anymore. Maybe I will just have to sleep tomorrow evening. Blah blah blah.

Featured Image Art: photo of Conner & LaDonna (his Nana) (Billy Tucker in background)

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Book(s):
I got and plan on starting Closet Case by Robert Rodi. I am interested in all of his books, but that one really sounded like the best. I really need to read more, but I need to get new glasses. I can barely see. It makes it frustrating to try and read anything.

Friends:
I love friends. Justin came over and watched Clash Of The Titans with me the other day. I think I am officially over that movie. Once upon a time I loved it, but I guess I have moved on with my life. Anyway, we later went to Wal-Mart, where we both had to pick up copies of The Day After Tomorrow, which we thought got a bad rap just because the wolves looked ridiculously fake. It was good for what it was and that is all it should be judged on. It was great formula disaster, better than made for TV, but certainly not the best of its kind. I dropped him off at his house and he went in to get my DVDs I had loaned him and Patrick. When he returned, he had a snapdragon in a starter pot, which he offered me. It was weird and a little funny. I took it and when I returned home I planned on giving it to Lori. As I walked by her house, her living room light went out so I quickly ran up and knocked on the door… no answer. So I unlocked the door and sat the plant in an obvious place and left. I am tired of giving people gifts. They appreciate them, but I don’t necessarily want them to. I am turning into my dad, giving things away all the time. It is exhausting when you are at any store and everything reminds you of someone you know. I should just not buy!!!

Shauna (ex roommate), Nathan (her kid), and Bryce (her brother) came into the store on Friday. It was nice to see them. It had been a very long time. I really miss James (Shauna’s husband) though. I really connected well with him when I lived with them, but haven’t seen him in a long time and I miss him. He is very much a homebody, not even wanting to venture beyond his house for long, so it is hard to see him without going over there. I should just go.

Haven’t seen Jess in a while, but I am sure work is keeping her busy lately.

Birthdays:
KC had her 1st birthday Friday. Meghan shared the day as her 21st. Franz, my cat, shared the same day as his 3rd. Mom’s birthday is tomorrow. I will be in Stillwater later today to celebrate. Brent and Laurisa (my brother and sister-in-law) will be in town too. I hardly ever see them now that they live an hour in the other direction of my parents. I also haven’t seen Jason since he was born. It will be a fun day. I hope if I take a movie my mom and I will be able to watch it in peace at some point. No more birthdays until November after this one.

Health:
I have a dentist appointment tomorrow morning. I am one of those dentist fearing people. I don’t really understand it, but I just don’t really like going. I have an abscess so I hope that I will have a tooth removed. It really needs to go. I hate that such a small thing can impact my overall sense of well being. It makes me feel sick all over!!!

Observation I made at work: Our inability to keep paper from cutting our skin is the dumbest thing ever. God seriously needs to rethink that whole thing. I was ringing someone up and the cover on the book he was buying sliced very easily into my finger… ouch!!!

Work:
Things seem to be getting much better. It is great to have employees who support me. I am impressed with everyone in my department at the moment and it really feels great. They are the best!!! I again enjoy my job and I am grateful for that.

Audacity: We have a man who keeps coming in the store and harassing a certain person in my department. He started out as a shoplifter, but has recently started only coming in to just show that we as a store do not scare him. Although he does not have the opportunity to steal, he does have an opportunity to make people uncomfortable. It is to the point that I wish I didn’t have to schedule certain people alone, but can’t penalize them for the actions of one asshole. I am just venting as I can see no way to get rid of him. Our store is willing to call the police on him, but he flees before it ever gets to that. It is aggravating.

Featured Image Art: photo by Sagar Patil (via Unsplash)

originally posted on Xanga