This is how this poem appears in the book Okie Dokie. I’m considering rewriting it, or maybe I’ll just write something new to express these thoughts. We’ll see.

Notes

Written 22 August 2008 in Anchorage, Alaska & 8 September 2019 in Payne County, Oklahoma.

Brian Fuchs, “Mambo Italiano” from Okie Dokie (Scissortail Press, 2019)


Posted 6 September 2020

I watched a TED talk by Roman Mars, the man behind the 99% Invisible blog.  It was on the subject of city flags and I didn’t expect much from it; it had come up on YouTube’s autoplay after a video I had chosen to watch.  I was eating dinner, so I just let it go.  I was immediately hooked and by the end I found myself googling flags for cities where I’ve lived to see how bad they are.  And mostly, they are pretty bad.  I couldn’t get it off my mind, so I went to Photoshop and started to make my own.  As Mars points out in his talk, people are passionate about the flag for the city where they live, and people are usually pretty terrible when it comes to great design.

The loudest voices tend to not understand why a flag like the Union Jack, for example,  is so important for the identity of the United Kingdom.  This was apparent during last year’s call for a change to the city flag of Provo, Utah.  It had long been considered one of the worst, but the proposed change caused controversy.  When opened up to the public, the types of submissions received largely failed to follow the basic principles of design, opting instead to put in some sort of agenda for the city.  Flags are unifying, not political.  In the end, Provo voted for and chose a fantastic new flag, one other cities should be envious of.  But it was an uphill battle, which is somewhat surprising… or should be.

New Zealand is in the midst of a second referendum to change their country’s flag to something divorced from their Australian neighbors.  It was bound to be controversial; the current flag was adopted in 1902.  It seems, however, that the issue is more about people not really caring, and opting to vote for the status quo as a way of making that point.  But the prime minister has a point.  The current flag is nearly identical to Australia’s flag, and like it still has the Union Jack on it.  While New Zealand is a part of the Commonwealth, most countries within it have modified their flags following independence in the 1930s and 1940s.  Canada’s fantastic flag is a great example.  The Union Jack persisted on the flag for a while, but by the mid-1960s, the maple leaf flag had been adopted, cementing a true identity for Canadians, removed from that of the people of the United Kingdom.  They do share a queen, but they do not share a cultural identity.  Their flag drives that point and gives the separate peoples something to make them special.  As for New Zealand, they may choose to keep their current flag.  I personally think they should change it.  The proposed change, chosen in a vote last year, is pretty great.  I would’ve gone further and removed the stars, but it’s still a great looking flag.

Looking at state city flags in the United States, I found a strong tendency to stick the state or city seal in a field of color, usually blue, and call that a flag.  And that looks stupid 100% of the time.  A seal can be a beautiful piece of art, incorporating a surprising amount of history into a (usually) circular emblem.  A flag, however, is not a history of one’s city.  It is a symbolic representation of the city.  It’s an icon, a place reduced to the simplest form possible.  The United States flag is another great example of a former British Colonial flag that came into its own with the removal of the Union Jack.  The thirteen colonies had a flag, similar to the current United States flag, but instead of stars there was the Union Jack.  Changing that portion to a field of blue with a star for each state not only changed the meaning of the flag, but it retained its sense of history.  It acknowledges where we came from, but makes clear that we are no longer a part of the British Empire.

Flag_of_the_United_States.svgThe Great Seal of the United States, which can be seen on any one dollar bill, is beautiful.  It features an eagle clutching an olive branch in one talon, arrows in the other talon, thirteen stars above the eagle’s head and a banner in its beak with the motto e pluribus unum written on it.  The olives, leaves, stars, and arrows all number thirteen to honor the original colonies.  The reverse features a pyramid with the Eye of Providence, featuring annuit cœptis written above and novus ordo seclorum written in a banner underneath.  These symbols on our seal feel very american and very much a part of who we are.  The flag, however, is not that.  It has no motto written across it and the name of our country does not appear at the bottom to remind us of what it is for.  We don’t need that reminder, and because the flag is so simple, and fantastically so, neither does anyone else.

One of my favorite city seals is that of Tulsa, Oklahoma.  It’s a really lovelypiece that must look great on letterhead, on business cards, and affixed to the city’s buildings.  It says a lot about the city in a small space.  But the city’s flag is exactly that seal in the middle of a white flag.  It gets lost.  It has no power there and just fails to generate the power it should as a symbol of a city.  I’ve created my own, one I think that honors the city’s seal while becoming more of a symbol that could be adapted in a lot of ways,  making way for a unifier for a city.  It could be something one is proud to put on a bumper sticker or a a patch on a backpack.  Business could use parts of it to mark themselves as local.  It does, in my opinion, the things a flag should do.

It surprised me how much I cared about flags.  Roman mars had started his TED talk with the assertion that 100% of people care about flags.  I raised an eyebrow at that. I did not think I did care about flag all that much, but I really do.  And I think others do as well.  But I do think it’s harder than people think to create a great flag for a city. It would be nice for these flags to change and a symbol of pride become available for cities whose flags just don’t work.

I haven’t picked on Oklahoma’s state flag much.  The state flag of my state is nice, and the official version from 1925 to 1941 was fantastic.  “OKLAHOMA” was added to the flag in 1941, which was unnecessary.  Supposedly, it was done as a literacy statement, but I’m not really sure how the name of one’s state on a flag truly promotes literacy.  At this point, the lettering could go.  Nobody would confuse the flag with another state’s.  I might also stylize the elements a bit.  I was able to draw the flag when I was a kid, but I remember it being overly intricate.

While I was tackling Tulsa’s flag, I made a whole bunch of flags.  Some of them are for communities that are small enough that they have never had a flag of their own, some are redesigns.  One is even for a community that doesn’t have residents year-round.  All were thought through, giving consideration to the various specifics of the town or city.  And I couldn’t help myself – I made some for fantasy places too.  Let me know what you think.

.

SaveSave

Great Expectations:
I had been looking forward to dinner with my Tulsa friends since I made plans to be in Oklahoma. But when it came time for it to happen, there was nobody around to eat with. I am excluding Jess & Justin, who I love, but talk to fairly regularly. I couldn’t wait to see Meghan, Emily, Jeff, Jill, Molly, Marla… someone. But none responded tothe invite.

I had a great dinner with Justin & Jess. We went briefly to Target, where I got a shirt to wear so I didn’t have to drive home from the club smelling like an ashtray. Then we decided to eat at On The Border. I love that place and was not disappointed in last night’s fare. And I ordered my Sprite, no ice, with limes. Limes, being not expensive here, are generously given. I got an entire glass full. I love it.

I wanted to spend more time with Justin, but he had to wake early, so he had to go. I made plans to spend more time on Tuesday. I can’t wait to see him. He is so important to me. The three of us went to Barnes & Noble, where I had hoped to find a magazine. I did not. I did, however, get to see Bettina, Ray, Jill, & Matt. I really do miss that place, but I am glad I am making Borders my home now.

Of Unicorns & Men:
Jess & I went to The Majestic for some dancing fun. It was just as I remembered it, a loud, dark, sweaty place where shirts don’t stay on for long. Everyone was gyrating and having a great time. It was the Halloween celebration and costumes were out in full force. Many an angel graced the club — one in particular repeatedly poked his sharp wings into my back. I liked it more than I should.

Of course, all of these costumes led to a contest, hosted by a unicorn. The costumes were sad. The gays should be able to do better, but the evening was pretty fun. I love the darker music of Halloween clubbing. Jess remarked that it was a good thing I changed out of my “Unicorn Rodeo” shirt before getting there. I was thinking I wish I hadn’t. That attention would have been okay.

I love dancing and really need to go more often. Anchorage needs a good gay club.

The rest of this week should prove fun. I am very excited that I got to go to Tulsa. I really miss Tulsa. It still feels like home to me. I could easily move back today and not miss a beat. But now Anchorage is also feeling like home and would surely miss it just as much… or at least the people.

Images: Peter Stanick, art of woman; unknown cartoon illustration

Featured Image Art: AI image (created using Wonder AI)

‘The time has come,’ the Walrus said,
‘To talk of many things:
Of shoes – and ships – and sealing-wax –
Of cabbages – and kings –
And why the sea is boiling hot –
And whether pigs have wings.’

Life just keeps changing on me. No, I am no longer at Barnes & Noble. And no, it isn’t by choice. I don’t really want to discuss it though and I hate having to tell people… especially my parents. Aside from feeling like a failure (having been with a company for 7 years and getting fired), I knew they would try to fix the situation, which isn’t what I want. I can generally solve my problems… my way. I don’t need to do everything their way. And that is a tough conversation to have. Ol’ confrontational me will never say anything.

Mind you, I do appreciate the advice, but the quick fix to my problem is irritating.

The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying overhead –
There were no birds to fly.

The world seems open with possibilities now, which is nice. I recently referred to B&N as a family, stating that families are good for two things: creating a sense of security and keeping you tied down. And that is true. I feel so free of the concerns I had at work. I don’t need to care about any of the day to day crap I dealt with there, but I shall deeply miss a lot of the people, not to mention making my own schedule. :pleased:

I have kicked around the idea of going back to school. I am interested and I am starting to gain focus on what I want to do, but I really dread doing it. I am interested in several things. Mainly, I want to work with the mentally ill (those with a chemical rather than physiological disorder) and their families. I would like to work in either a counseling, social work, or advocacy role for these individuals. This has been a calling of mine for a long time — since high school. I really feel that I can do the most good in this field. My other interest, which is totally unrelated, is Interior Design. It doesn’t have the human side that the other does, but it is likely to pay better, use my creative talents, and be very fun rather than challenging. I doubt that I would get the same satisfaction out of that.

I have been applying for any retail management jobs I can find. So far, I have been to Foley’s, Bed Bath & Beyond, Pier 1, & Borders. I have applied online at Babies R Us, Cracker Barrel, IKEA, Schurman Fine Papers, Blockbuster, & GameStop. Hopefully something will work out.

I am also trying to organize my people to create my web based business. I really want it to be successful, but I just need to people to do the work. I have been doing everything, which can take quite some time. I will release more information about it later… when I feel like I have a firm grasp on the concept.

Lastly, I want to be published. It doesn’t require a degree, but doesn’t pay anything until a publisher is interested. And I need to finish my book before a publisher will be interested.

Images: still from Disney’s Alice In Wonderland; photo of Damon Albarn 

Featured Image Art: vintage postcard

When Good Songs Happen To Bad People:
I finally heard Jessica Simpson slaughter “Angels.” She took one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard and gave an awful, half-assed attempt at singing it. It is crude, choppy, and completely out of tune. It makes me sad that such a gorgeous song by the very talented Robbie Williams will be remembered, if it will, as that one song by a talentless twit. On some level I like Jessica Simpson. But it isn’t about her voice — I like her for being naive and proud of being who she is. She is her own person, but should sing only her own songs so that good songs like this one can remain good. I curse the record companies for such an atrocious mistake! Curse you, record companies…

Home:
Thank God, I am home!!! I do love vacation, but it is so nice to be able to relax in familiar surroundings. And many thanks to me for scheduling a day off tomorrow. Yay! My cats have already had enough reuniting (after a whole 15 minutes), so I feel a little under appreciated now. They’re still cats though… I am amazed that the place isn’t a wreck, although Molly was locked in the bedroom. The cats aren’t even allowed in the bedroom… curious.

The Erne Family:
I am so grateful to Lori’s family for their warm hospitality. I really felt like a member of the family while I was there. I so enjoy the entire group, but I was a little sad that Marty wasn’t there. He is a lot of fun. He is also irritating, so maybe his absence this time was a blessing. I felt a little bit for Lori’s mom, who seemed to latch on hard to visiting with her daughter (who is also her friend). It was bittersweet that she so needed that interaction — she must not get much adult attention. Clare was a handful as usual, but not so much as in February. I guess she is growing up. Slowly but surely. Tommy did what Tommy does. He was at his computer most of the time he was at the house. He is nice though… when Clare isn’t irritating him! Even Lori’s dad was friendly. I haven’t talked to him much, but this time he spoke to me quite a bit. He seems like a nice guy.

Me:
I was gone for a week and feel like a different person now. Not only am I relaxed, but I have thought through some things in the past week I hadn’t considered before. Maybe it is just the sunburn getting to me… I don’t know. I feel basically okay with David and Jim not being attracted to me. And I realize that I don’t want someone who focuses on physical appearance that much. And I really love both of them for who they are (and I don’t mean in any way that they are shallow — either one). I can continue on being myself. Someone out there is going to love me the way I come. I just need a bit of patience.

Featured Image Art: photo of Lori, Brian, Clare, & Jess in Galveston, TX (taken in February)

originally posted on Xanga

Pride:
I woke up this morning to Lori knocking on my bedroom door, which meant she was in my house. I stumbled half-naked, mostly asleep to the door where she informed me I had overslept; it was 9:55 and our plans were at 10:00. I got ready and we left. I had her drive because I am sick and didn’t feel well enough to. Plus I took DayQuil so I had medicine head too. I wasn’t thinking about her car not having A/C. Dammit!
We met Jess and Ray at Kilkinney’s with intentions to eat and watch the parade. We changed our plans as the parade was to start in ten minutes or so. After watching the parade we walked in behind to Veteran’s park, the site of the full day celebration. It was nice out, being midmorning and cloudy. By the time we arrived the sun was shining and we were all sweaty.

The picnic was fun; better than most. Chad Allen was there which was so cool. HOT! He was the guest speaker and grand marshall of the parade… I registered to vote (finally!), got a new cigarette case and watched some of the performers. We also hooked up with Justin, Patrick, Brandy, Amber, Sandra, Brian, and another guy whose name I cannot recall.

We finally left at 3:00. Okay, thing is that when you walk 2 miles one way, you have to walk 2 miles the other. Now it is hot and sunny: 90°. It was quite a trek, but somehow felt good. The sunburn hadn’t set yet.

You see, I am stupid! I forgot the sunscreen. Lori and I smeared Aloe Vera Burn Relief all over our just forming burns and contemplated napping. I was not at all tired and, after resting for 10 minutes, neither was she. We spent the afternoon with The Book Of Question, pizza, and lots of Mountain Dew: Livewire. It was an emotional but fun time.

We then went dancing! We met Jess at The Majestic fairly eary as we knew it would fill up. And it did quickly. We danced like crazy — I love it so much. I was sweaty and drunk and grinding with my female cohorts. We all got in the cage and I was jumping up and stratling them and then sinking to my knees where I would continue to dance and grind, my face at boob level. Brandy and Sandra showed up later. (Brandy FINALLY broke up with Amber!!! I hope it is permenant. It has not been in the past)
All in all, excellent day. Energetic day. I really hope everyone who was there enjoyed it as I did. And I really hope the guy from the next table actually brought me home and is waiting for me in the next room in nothing but his cowboy hat. Yikes!

Blatant Ad:
Seriously, If you haven’t gone to Barnes & Noble in a while, go! All DVDs are buy 2, get a 3rd free. Lowest price will be free. I have spent enirely too much on DVDs in the last week. It is a great deal.

::afternoon edit::

Sunburn:
I am so fried… My entire body aches. I am supposed to met people from work at Friday’s soon. I hurt too much. I always forget just how much I hate sunburns… Plus I am blue from the stuff I am using. I guess I could stop complaining.

Dancing:
I really must go out more often. I love it and feel great today. As far as my muscles go anyway.

Working out:
After seeing all the beautiful boys last night I think I decided to not just sit around all the time. I want to walk or go to the gym more often. I can’t decide if I want my gym membership anymore. It is a bit expensive. Hmmm… I need to start eating too. I really don’t eat enough to keep my metabolism up. Anywho… Tired of my whining yet?

Featured Image Art: photo by Raphael Renter (via Unsplash)

originally posted on Xanga

Sleep:
I fully intended to watch Friends last night, but as I have been unable to sleep at all for a couple of days my body decided to sleep instead… dang it!!! I wanted to see it so bad. I don’t know why I have sleep problems, but I imagine it was stress.

Life:
I have been giving thought to moving back to Stillwater, but I really do like it here in Tulsa. I can’t stand the thought of leaving my friends or job, but I am so sick for the life I used to have that I somehow think going back home would help. Maybe I will, but probably not.

Work:
My review wasn’t yesterday, which means it IS today — egad. I am not that worried about it. My manager is a nice guy. We get along well, so it will be fine. I just hate meeting like that though…

Update:
My review wasn’t today, as planned. My manager said he’ll come in tomorrow (his day off) to do it… Whew… avoided it for another day!! Meanwhile, it has turned cold — I love it!!!! My uncle came to visit me at work. He is so great. It’s been a wonderful day!!

Featured Image Art: photo by Dustin Humes (via Unsplash)

originally posted on Xanga