Faboo:
Lulu Faboo had a sale. Yes, that means I needed more stuff. I picked up the Tare Panda trash can I was eyeing last time I was there. I think I will use it for something else though. I also got a few stickers for work, but really I held back. I would love to go back and get a little more, but I think the sale is over… maybe I am wrong.Continue Reading

Family:
I talked to my mom last night. I felt bad that I couldn’t go to the cookout they had tonight. My issues really! I did find out what had gone wrong the other day. Apparently, her medications had a negative reaction with one another. She didn’t even know who she was, let alone what she was doing. Her doctor was surprised she was even able to get out of bed. Her response was that sometimes, she wasn’t. All should be better now. The drugs she is on now are more compatible with one another. I am super happy. It was the second time in the past six months that she sounded normal. I am a jerk for not making plans to go over there tonight… Oh well. I will have to next weekend.

Friends:
Everyone was having a good time this weekend, while I pretty much just slept. I always assume that my body needs the sleep if I do that. It really must. I wish I could have gone to Travis’ this weekend, but really need to soon. I need to get away again. And I still have a ton of vacation to use up. Did I whine about not getting an extra day off this week yet? I also really want to help Travis with his house and I have some great ideas. I hope he goes for them. Everything I thought of really says Travis and Sandra to me…

Me:
I think I would make the best boyfriend…
(okay, if I didn’t whine so much!!!)Continue Reading

Ashamed:
I am a horrible person. I hope all is mended, but I really was hateful. Sorry. I hope we are okay and you don’t hate me. For those interested, this has to do with yesterday’s post of bitterness.

Work:
I had a wonderful day today. Nothing happened today, but it was still wonderful. I got to see Meghan and “Dimberly.” Yay!Continue Reading

I AM UPSET!
I cannot believe that I cannot post things on here because people do not respect this as a journal. It is not an advertisement for everything in my life. I would like my family to respect this, but since they apparently will not, most if not all future posts will be protected. I feel very hurt by this. I am especially hurt that the people involved felt the need to continue reading when I had asked them not to. I shouldn’t trust people as much as I do. Most of those who read will still be able to at least. I am sorry this is how things are right now, but hopefully it will change soon.

Ding Dong…
I forgot to mention that GDFC is gone as of Monday! I really didn’t want GDFC to fail, but that is what happened. But now we can all have a more productive and nurturing work environment. Things will be very different though…

Jason:
I may have a nephew right now. Brad said he would call, but I will understand if it is later. Jess was in labor last night, and for her sake I hope it is/was quick! With all that has happened, I should write a book. Thank you, Travis for suggesting it.

Mom:
I have no news. I pray everything is going well.Continue Reading

Goodbye Kitty:
Enough already with the creepy Japanese characters… they are so gay! Hey, me too… Hmm… I really do love Sanrio, but the characters just make me look so over the top and… something. Blah.

Mom (the information I have):
Apparently, she took a large quantity of sleeping pills after some conversation with her brother. It really pisses me off. Brad took her to the hospital, where she ended up in ICU. This all occurred in the middle of the night. I finally talked to my dad this morning. A couple of times. He had me call my aunt, told me she was fine, and told me he would update me. Okay… I was at work, so fine. Brad called a little later and told me I needed to come over after work. He said my dad wanted me there, but wasn’t even aware that I had talked to him earlier today. It was frustrating. I am not going over there.

Mom (why I won’t go):
I can’t. I don’t want to be around for this. I can’t help. I can’t see her. I am upset. I don’t want to drive. I don’t want to halt my life every other week because she needs attention, which makes me sound heartless. I am angry with her. I don’t want to be just another person there. I am tired. I am stressed and nobody listens to my frustrations. I am selfish. I hate life right now and don’t want to risk a happy moment. I really feel like I just don’t want to be there. I hate hospitals right now. I do want to, but really want to be stubborn. I have things to do. I have had a long day and don’t need it to be longer. I think I make things worse because she is still having a hard time with my being gay. I just want one of these fucking days to be happy. I want to enjoy being me. I feel like my presence solves nothing. She is fine. She did this to herself. She knows I love her. She doesn’t want me to see her this way. She doesn’t want me involved this way. She wants me to just be her son.

Guilt trips are evil. I shouldn’t be required to justify my feelings just because someone else doesn’t agree. Today sucks a little.

Meghan:
Meghan managed to make me smile today. Thank you Meg.Continue Reading

I am losing my mind and falling apart!

I went to Lori’s this afternoon to finish off the frozen pizza and my Margaret Cho DVD. I remember switching to TV and then Lori sitting down on the chair. Okay, see… she had gotten home from work, I am mysteriously sleeping in her house. I found it to be a little creepy, and I could tell it had irritated her a little bit. Granted, we had discussed me eating the pizza, but not sleeping my afternoon away. It was a little bit funny!

After that, I was awake, we ordered Chinese, and talked. But my hand freakin’ hurts. I have a sharp pain in my wrist and it is worthless for anything. I tried to use it as I stood up and it almost killed me. I don’t know what is wrong with it, but it seems that all my joints are starting to go out. I must be due for an oil change and tune up or something… I am basically falling apart. Now, I enjoy some daily pain in my neck, shoulders, hands, wrist (left only), knees, and elbow (left only). Only occasionally do I also have back, ankle, or hip pain… but I do. I really don’t mean to whine about it, but after a while, the pain can get old. Blah… This is why I should see a doctor!!!Continue Reading

Sad:
I went to Lulu Faboo after work and treated myself to some Deery-Lou stuff (pens, stickers, and a small mirror). Deery-Lou makes me smile. I know, I know, it is a little bit sad.

Sleep:
Although it was glorious, sleeping so long last night was unfortunate because I could have gotten some stuff done. I need some time to start preparing for painting half of the living room. That involves quite a lot reorganizing so that I will have a place to move all of the furniture while I do that. And what do I do with the cats when I paint? I don’t want to board them or lock them in another room, but I may need to.

Money:
Fortunately, I keep talking myself out of spending money. I have stopped ordering so much at work, and the only DVD I want right now is one I am exchanging something for. That makes it cost nothing. I want to be the person who doesn’t buy stuff. **Explanation of the Deery-Lou: yes, it was spending money, but it actually something I had planned for, not just an impulse. That is really what makes it sad. Plus, we are talking about $11.00.

Continue Reading